I finally have the heart to post that ...i'm guilty...

I know I am...I’m guilty of not praying hard enough for the ASX and SAA. The two huge inaugural events that my org is embarking on for the first time for us, and you can say, the first of its kind in SG.

What do I mean by hard enough? It’s hard to quantify. But they’ve been in my prayers of course, just not so intense. No warfare and hard specific facts. Just that it would all turn out good and it’s going to be in His hands. We will do our best and He can bless the entire projects. I had faith that God is faithful.

Don’t get me wrong. God is not into theatrics. He CAN still bring success to the event with what we commit and surrender to him.

But God looks at the heart.

And two weeks back my heart spoke to me. It had been quiet. A week before I left for Aussie, something bugged me inside. The usual me with no clue passed it off as airshow worries. But while I was in Melbourne after the airshow, it turned out to be a silent fear.

I remember pastor asking in service. I can’t recall if it was pastor phil...but he asked. Can you experience faith and fear together? Many in the congregation was unsure. Answer?

Yes.

Two weeks back, the silent fear reared it’s ugly head. Time was running out. You’re all close to flopping. It’s going to be bad. Either there is so much to do that is essential, yet you get the feeling nothing else is moving. What is happening God? Boss’s and ge’s frustration was apparent toos.

I hate fear. It sucks..sucks big time because of what it can do to you....was I afraid with all the facts laid out before me? Of course. I didn’t even want to go to work. I just want to be an ostrich and bury my head in the sand and hope it will all go away.

But I thank God for the knowledge that in as much as there’s fear. There’s Him. And I heard myself saying out loud in my car on the way home. “For God did not give us a spirit of fear but of power, love and sound mind.” It changed the atmosphere in my car. God is good. =)

It felt good waving the sword around abit again. Hahaha...the Sword of the Spirit. =)

That’s when I realised that I had not been giving my spiritual best for the two big projects. I felt bad. I should’ve started earlier. I was just too lazy I presume. Or maybe, I just wanted to avoid the warfare altogether. Well, see what happened lah...haiz...

So yeah, the war is on...it had always been on, but I didn’t want to wear armour..hahaha...I know lah, Christian so many years and still so...*shakes head*...no time for regrets!

Am rusty, but started speaking into the mountain situations...prayed for favour upon my co-workers who were going out to close deals. Good reports. Favour from man. God we need your help. And any area we fail to look at...please intervene. And every area that is out of our hands, we give it to you.

Should fast lah..but with footie like that, I can’t...sooo...nevermind...

Of course I still feel like an ostrich. But an ostrich that will try...

So now we have ... with targets next two weeks!

16 exhibitors – target 30
5 buyers – 3 more!!!
90 conference – 130

let’s not forget..the other projects that need to click into place...SVAC – final phasesà right results! SAA – entire judging process and event logs and coord.

Neeeeed to chiong harder....Raaarr!!!