Today I bore witness to something that warmed my heart so. It's been some time, I have to admit, since I felt the kind of presence I did so today from a chat, and I treasured it. Recently it has been from afar. But today I was reminded of how good He is and His love for each of us...and He is near.
As I listened I could only smile and Thank God that at the end of the day, his smallest and lightest touch sends waves through our lives. In fact, it was so nice, I didn't know what to say..hahaha...
Seeing her tears as she blurted out memories of feelings of being lost when waking up daily with a heavy and burdened heart. Digging deep and finding a brand new type of Faith that took care of things and carried her through. It was such a simply put yet powerful testimony. No fancy build up, no elaborate picture was decribed. No flowery words used.
Just reaching an end point where there's nothing left but to say: Here I am, I don't know how. But I pray...and ask....
She added that it was one of the most impactful experiences for her in the past year and that she met God in a new way.=)
And you know what? That to me is the best part. That it isnt' some man influenced deal, training or favour....but the most impactful experience was that of one with our heavenly father.
Which for any of my friends is the happiest I can be for them, and I'd only want more for them. Because these personal testimonies that strengthen them are the same that will pull them through when there's no one around.
I'm tearing as I type this too..coz it's joy and a strong strong reminder of who He is, who He has promised to be to us, and yes...He is... I had a song humming at the back of my mind since I started this post...
When the stage is bare tonight
There’s no one else
Just You and me
When the curtains close behind
There’s no pretense
I’m on my knees
The God I know
Righteous and Holy
The God I know
Faithful and true
The God I know
My tower of refuge
Hearts are healed
Christ revealed
The God I know
Light of the City
The God I know
Strengthens the weak
The God I know
Your heart beats within me
As You are, so are we
I cry buckets when I sing the chorus each time...heh.
My dearest friend, I'm so happy for you. =) Thank you for being there for me k...can't say enuff of how blessed me is to have you lah..=P
Monday 22 February 2010
Wednesday 17 February 2010
Being home these days is growing more to not be of comfort anymore. It's like you have to account for every action. If this is the way it's heading I wonder how i'm gg to keep living here.
You're told everythign in an indirect manner which is so pressurising. We have enough of such things outside, why have it at home.
And you have to ask everything more than once. Like you're begging. And no, it's not cause the person is THAT distracted or is the surroundings noisy. It's just plain rude.
I'm not even going to bring up what happened today. But the day before, I was scooping ice cream for both of us with one spoon. She was making tea for both of us and had taken two spoons to use. One for each cup. The kitchen is quiet. Knowing how senseless it is to wash that many spoons once we finihs with our tea and ice cream, and ALSO that she is so freaking picky she must only use THOSE KIND OF SPOONS (other spoons in the drawer are considered weird. Though she's freaking used them before years ago.)...we do not have many of those particular spoons, and i've already mentally accounted for 3 in my above description.
I wanted to go out and continue my tv show. She was still making the tea and hogging both spoons. Since I didn't want to PRESSURE her in her tea making process. (God forbid)...So i said, "Later you use one of the spoons for tea for your ice cream k...i take this one can?"
Silence.
I repeated.
Silence.
Fed up, i went to the drawer. Took a spoon for my own bowl, and tossed the one used for scopping into hers and left the kitchen.
Honestly, nothing negative was in the air before that.
Now even though the one i took from the drawer was the same preferred type, why did i bother to even toss the used spoon for scooping into her bowl? Coz she freaking will not use unrinsed spoons for her food. Yes. So irritating.
At that point, i dont' really care. I'll just use the damned spoon.No matter how possibly unclean the spoon is even if it came from the drawer. So pissed.
She is one person who deems that anything others have washed is never as clean as how she has washed it. For mum, it happens often coz she's old and not so thorough. For me, accidents happen and you miss that oily spot at the bottom of the pot.
Spare me the perfection lah. You make mistakes too. But no, your mistakes are more justified than others.
You must be thinking, then let her wash her won stuff lah. Can. Can be done. But there are some common things that will still be used. How would you feel if you have just washed something with soap and sponge and placed it in the dry rack. And in the same moment, while you're still hovering at the sink. A hand reaches over, takes it off the rack. RE-WASHES it in front of you with soap and sponge, and proceeds to use it immediately, without even checking if it's really THAT dirty?
Yes, such behavior makes you want to smack the person right? Pick an argument or something. Pity mum who faces that ALL the time, and me on the occassion.
If you say something, you're deemed as the one causing the ruckus or starting the fight. Afterall, she quietly took the freaking thing and re-washed it with no comments.
So what do you do? Say something or let it rest?
Be quiet and you encourage it. Say something and be the asshole.
I was just downstairs for an hour , and I had about 5 similar experiences as the above. Now you understand my first para?
Now i come up to my room and it's all stuffed up inside me. Like a big conflict 24/7.
I realised I've grown more defensive and angry due to these stupid things and it shows at work. I feel like a walking porcupine and I hate myself for it.Raaar...
Haiz...God what to do...what to do...
You're told everythign in an indirect manner which is so pressurising. We have enough of such things outside, why have it at home.
And you have to ask everything more than once. Like you're begging. And no, it's not cause the person is THAT distracted or is the surroundings noisy. It's just plain rude.
I'm not even going to bring up what happened today. But the day before, I was scooping ice cream for both of us with one spoon. She was making tea for both of us and had taken two spoons to use. One for each cup. The kitchen is quiet. Knowing how senseless it is to wash that many spoons once we finihs with our tea and ice cream, and ALSO that she is so freaking picky she must only use THOSE KIND OF SPOONS (other spoons in the drawer are considered weird. Though she's freaking used them before years ago.)...we do not have many of those particular spoons, and i've already mentally accounted for 3 in my above description.
I wanted to go out and continue my tv show. She was still making the tea and hogging both spoons. Since I didn't want to PRESSURE her in her tea making process. (God forbid)...So i said, "Later you use one of the spoons for tea for your ice cream k...i take this one can?"
Silence.
I repeated.
Silence.
Fed up, i went to the drawer. Took a spoon for my own bowl, and tossed the one used for scopping into hers and left the kitchen.
Honestly, nothing negative was in the air before that.
Now even though the one i took from the drawer was the same preferred type, why did i bother to even toss the used spoon for scooping into her bowl? Coz she freaking will not use unrinsed spoons for her food. Yes. So irritating.
At that point, i dont' really care. I'll just use the damned spoon.No matter how possibly unclean the spoon is even if it came from the drawer. So pissed.
She is one person who deems that anything others have washed is never as clean as how she has washed it. For mum, it happens often coz she's old and not so thorough. For me, accidents happen and you miss that oily spot at the bottom of the pot.
Spare me the perfection lah. You make mistakes too. But no, your mistakes are more justified than others.
You must be thinking, then let her wash her won stuff lah. Can. Can be done. But there are some common things that will still be used. How would you feel if you have just washed something with soap and sponge and placed it in the dry rack. And in the same moment, while you're still hovering at the sink. A hand reaches over, takes it off the rack. RE-WASHES it in front of you with soap and sponge, and proceeds to use it immediately, without even checking if it's really THAT dirty?
Yes, such behavior makes you want to smack the person right? Pick an argument or something. Pity mum who faces that ALL the time, and me on the occassion.
If you say something, you're deemed as the one causing the ruckus or starting the fight. Afterall, she quietly took the freaking thing and re-washed it with no comments.
So what do you do? Say something or let it rest?
Be quiet and you encourage it. Say something and be the asshole.
I was just downstairs for an hour , and I had about 5 similar experiences as the above. Now you understand my first para?
Now i come up to my room and it's all stuffed up inside me. Like a big conflict 24/7.
I realised I've grown more defensive and angry due to these stupid things and it shows at work. I feel like a walking porcupine and I hate myself for it.Raaar...
Haiz...God what to do...what to do...
Saturday 13 February 2010
New bedsheet!
One of me Xmas pressies is a bedsheet, so CNY can use orh..=) It came with a jigsaw, so may as well play with it!
Now i'm sneezing like mad due to the dust in my room coz when i change sheets, means the windows and curtains get a cleaning too..*Ah-chooo*
So here it is all done up...I just noticed it got the words 'Chop Chop' printed all over. I guess to Ang mohs it's the sound of the helocopters...but in SG...hahaha...it means chop chop do things now now now!!! I think the Choo Choo Train below is cute!!! =P
Tuesday 9 February 2010
Moooddyy
The day started off well today, though it did cost me about $360! Bought Blooie for his 20K km servicing and went for 1 1/2 hr full body massage. It's been so long since I went for one near my home, I didnt even realise they have moved over to Frankel for over a year!
It felt good, but quite pain actually. And now suffering from some blue-black feeling. Hahaha...But that's coz I though I could take the force lah. =) Got some of my fav noodles again and came home for a zzz in the late afternoon.
But come night hor, somehow, I felt like a slug. Lost the drive to clear my room. Maybe coz i feel time is running out and i should scale back on my ambitious quest. Also, there's been so much moving and packing the past week. Antoher round at home feels abit =S. But I was guai and cleared my watch/ dresser section. Not as complete as I'd have wanted it to be. But at least its done. =) Laundry too!
Hee...
Ah well, am in a grumps mood too. Being home more than usual the past 48 hours, has brought back the sad facts that somethings at home have not changed...same double standards...Raaarrr....the end of the break is neigh! extra mooody
But let's not be ungrateful, and remember to thank god for his blessings and favour thoughout. Things could always be alot worse. =) he is good to us.
I've got Las Vegas on the tv as a background entertainment while doing up this post. It happened to be showing when I turned it on. I'm a closet las Vegas watcher. What I like about the show is that you don't need to follow prior episodes to be entertained. (like CSI lah)...and it's quite funny and interesting story lines. =) Abit crazy one lah. Today's episode is a genuine mummy that has gone missing (supposed to exhibit int he casino) and is worth $400mil. So they're up to silly tricks to get it back. Of course, it helps that Josh Duhamel is cute tooz. =P
Ok ok...time to wind down and sleep it's almost 2am. wonky internet the whole time doing this post has extended it to an hour jsut to type it out. =)
Good nite God!
It felt good, but quite pain actually. And now suffering from some blue-black feeling. Hahaha...But that's coz I though I could take the force lah. =) Got some of my fav noodles again and came home for a zzz in the late afternoon.
But come night hor, somehow, I felt like a slug. Lost the drive to clear my room. Maybe coz i feel time is running out and i should scale back on my ambitious quest. Also, there's been so much moving and packing the past week. Antoher round at home feels abit =S. But I was guai and cleared my watch/ dresser section. Not as complete as I'd have wanted it to be. But at least its done. =) Laundry too!
Hee...
Ah well, am in a grumps mood too. Being home more than usual the past 48 hours, has brought back the sad facts that somethings at home have not changed...same double standards...Raaarrr....the end of the break is neigh! extra mooody
But let's not be ungrateful, and remember to thank god for his blessings and favour thoughout. Things could always be alot worse. =) he is good to us.
I've got Las Vegas on the tv as a background entertainment while doing up this post. It happened to be showing when I turned it on. I'm a closet las Vegas watcher. What I like about the show is that you don't need to follow prior episodes to be entertained. (like CSI lah)...and it's quite funny and interesting story lines. =) Abit crazy one lah. Today's episode is a genuine mummy that has gone missing (supposed to exhibit int he casino) and is worth $400mil. So they're up to silly tricks to get it back. Of course, it helps that Josh Duhamel is cute tooz. =P
Ok ok...time to wind down and sleep it's almost 2am. wonky internet the whole time doing this post has extended it to an hour jsut to type it out. =)
Good nite God!
Sunday 7 February 2010
Jerk
I encountered an irritating jerk today, and i wish the gf the best of luck man.
This morning I bought a newspaper and looked forward to settling into a delicious bowl of may fav 'oodles just outside my place. Yum yum! Being that it was about 11am, it wasn't as crowded, so i took a small table with 3 chars, me on one, and my paper on anohter. In the midst of eating and reading, I noticed a couple hovering. They looked like they were looking for seats and i reckoned, being close to 12 now, the place shuld be pretty packed.
So I offered " Would you like to share" and indicated with a circular motion to the table, and started clearing away my paper from one of the chairs and moving to the side.
The gf went. "Oh,.." and turned to the bf for agreement or whatever.
Gues what the jerk said?
"Share? does that mean we get to share your food as well?" and he had this smart alecky sarcastic look on his face.
Becasue i was in the midst of clearing to a side, i was completely not ready for such a remark. WHAT AN ASS. I just moved moved everything to the side and said " Like that ah. No way."....and moved to the side like they were the plague.
I think even the gf was a little stumped and said "no lah, not the food" and added "Thank you" and took a seat.
the guy walked off to buy food.
While pretending to read, I decided that I shall not be bitter for such assholes. I had felt compassionate really, and just didnt need to be so called, begged or asked if "can share table"...As if I own the table. Also, why bother to offer and disturb my peacful reading, when i could spread my paper on teh table and now had to fold it and tuck it in a corner of the table to read and eat.
Humph...jerk.
I tink the gf felt quite uncomfy in the time he went off to buy food, but I jsut acted busy. In my heart at that time, I felt like just saying. " No, don't want to share" and toss my paper back on the chair. Humph.
Listening to parts of their convo, I found out she was a uni student. Probably final year. hated that she was half the time, constantly asking for his opinion on some questin whether you would choose to be miserably rich or miserably poor. Frankly, as the convo went, his opinions kept changing. One moment he said, just stick to what you beleive in, the next he said follow the crowd because that's the way to go. LOL.
It was a moment i was thankful I didnt have a stupid bf in my life to contend with and stroke his ego thoughout a meal, when jsut moments ago, he jsut embarassed you in front of a complete stranger and left you hanging there, to face the tension resulting from your stupid act.
When he finihed EVERYTHING from his plate, he told the gf. Not nice one. Weird.
Anyway, when they left, he said a quick thank you, and i grunted a 'sure' only glancing up from my paper.
What a jerk. God help him.
i though i met hirrid people at the booth yesterday. This is frankly worse. Do i feel irked?..of course. But not enough to say i'll never do it again. Why spoil the world over one jerk's behavior?
Should've hope he'd choke on his food...MUAHAHAHAHA....haiz....
This morning I bought a newspaper and looked forward to settling into a delicious bowl of may fav 'oodles just outside my place. Yum yum! Being that it was about 11am, it wasn't as crowded, so i took a small table with 3 chars, me on one, and my paper on anohter. In the midst of eating and reading, I noticed a couple hovering. They looked like they were looking for seats and i reckoned, being close to 12 now, the place shuld be pretty packed.
So I offered " Would you like to share" and indicated with a circular motion to the table, and started clearing away my paper from one of the chairs and moving to the side.
The gf went. "Oh,.." and turned to the bf for agreement or whatever.
Gues what the jerk said?
"Share? does that mean we get to share your food as well?" and he had this smart alecky sarcastic look on his face.
Becasue i was in the midst of clearing to a side, i was completely not ready for such a remark. WHAT AN ASS. I just moved moved everything to the side and said " Like that ah. No way."....and moved to the side like they were the plague.
I think even the gf was a little stumped and said "no lah, not the food" and added "Thank you" and took a seat.
the guy walked off to buy food.
While pretending to read, I decided that I shall not be bitter for such assholes. I had felt compassionate really, and just didnt need to be so called, begged or asked if "can share table"...As if I own the table. Also, why bother to offer and disturb my peacful reading, when i could spread my paper on teh table and now had to fold it and tuck it in a corner of the table to read and eat.
Humph...jerk.
I tink the gf felt quite uncomfy in the time he went off to buy food, but I jsut acted busy. In my heart at that time, I felt like just saying. " No, don't want to share" and toss my paper back on the chair. Humph.
Listening to parts of their convo, I found out she was a uni student. Probably final year. hated that she was half the time, constantly asking for his opinion on some questin whether you would choose to be miserably rich or miserably poor. Frankly, as the convo went, his opinions kept changing. One moment he said, just stick to what you beleive in, the next he said follow the crowd because that's the way to go. LOL.
It was a moment i was thankful I didnt have a stupid bf in my life to contend with and stroke his ego thoughout a meal, when jsut moments ago, he jsut embarassed you in front of a complete stranger and left you hanging there, to face the tension resulting from your stupid act.
When he finihed EVERYTHING from his plate, he told the gf. Not nice one. Weird.
Anyway, when they left, he said a quick thank you, and i grunted a 'sure' only glancing up from my paper.
What a jerk. God help him.
i though i met hirrid people at the booth yesterday. This is frankly worse. Do i feel irked?..of course. But not enough to say i'll never do it again. Why spoil the world over one jerk's behavior?
Should've hope he'd choke on his food...MUAHAHAHAHA....haiz....
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