Doggie Walk

Being home these days is growing more to not be of comfort anymore. It's like you have to account for every action. If this is the way it's heading I wonder how i'm gg to keep living here.

You're told everythign in an indirect manner which is so pressurising. We have enough of such things outside, why have it at home.

And you have to ask everything more than once. Like you're begging. And no, it's not cause the person is THAT distracted or is the surroundings noisy. It's just plain rude.

I'm not even going to bring up what happened today. But the day before, I was scooping ice cream for both of us with one spoon. She was making tea for both of us and had taken two spoons to use. One for each cup. The kitchen is quiet. Knowing how senseless it is to wash that many spoons once we finihs with our tea and ice cream, and ALSO that she is so freaking picky she must only use THOSE KIND OF SPOONS (other spoons in the drawer are considered weird. Though she's freaking used them before years ago.)...we do not have many of those particular spoons, and i've already mentally accounted for 3 in my above description.

I wanted to go out and continue my tv show. She was still making the tea and hogging both spoons. Since I didn't want to PRESSURE her in her tea making process. (God forbid)...So i said, "Later you use one of the spoons for tea for your ice cream k...i take this one can?"

Silence.

I repeated.

Silence.

Fed up, i went to the drawer. Took a spoon for my own bowl, and tossed the one used for scopping into hers and left the kitchen.

Honestly, nothing negative was in the air before that.

Now even though the one i took from the drawer was the same preferred type, why did i bother to even toss the used spoon for scooping into her bowl? Coz she freaking will not use unrinsed spoons for her food. Yes. So irritating.

At that point, i dont' really care. I'll just use the damned spoon.No matter how possibly unclean the spoon is even if it came from the drawer. So pissed.

She is one person who deems that anything others have washed is never as clean as how she has washed it. For mum, it happens often coz she's old and not so thorough. For me, accidents happen and you miss that oily spot at the bottom of the pot.

Spare me the perfection lah. You make mistakes too. But no, your mistakes are more justified than others.

You must be thinking, then let her wash her won stuff lah. Can. Can be done. But there are some common things that will still be used. How would you feel if you have just washed something with soap and sponge and placed it in the dry rack. And in the same moment, while you're still hovering at the sink. A hand reaches over, takes it off the rack. RE-WASHES it in front of you with soap and sponge, and proceeds to use it immediately, without even checking if it's really THAT dirty?

Yes, such behavior makes you want to smack the person right? Pick an argument or something. Pity mum who faces that ALL the time, and me on the occassion.

If you say something, you're deemed as the one causing the ruckus or starting the fight. Afterall, she quietly took the freaking thing and re-washed it with no comments.

So what do you do? Say something or let it rest?

Be quiet and you encourage it. Say something and be the asshole.

I was just downstairs for an hour , and I had about 5 similar experiences as the above. Now you understand my first para?

Now i come up to my room and it's all stuffed up inside me. Like a big conflict 24/7.

I realised I've grown more defensive and angry due to these stupid things and it shows at work. I feel like a walking porcupine and I hate myself for it.Raaar...

Haiz...God what to do...what to do...