Having heart...

It's really been a tough week for ge and me in the office. Am glad she numbs faster than she used to in the past and has grown more resillient to the tumbling waves.

For me, today I think my body and spirit just gave out and I felt really short-tempered and crabby since morning. Thank god for entertaining office colleagues, ge's encouragement and of course most importantly, God's encouragement.

I initially thought I was upset over the latest development in our exhibition. But I think with the help of moody hormones, I was overall feeling discouraged and had no more in me to chase all the ghosts away...

I was alot better after lunch. =) thank god...i was turning into a monster...even my part-timer was afraid to come an inch into my room...sigh...

God's encouragement...ah yes...there's a story behind it.

I accompanied ge for an impartation service in her church in papaya...LOL...yeah...=P For a start, we were late and we went in one car, with me as the human GPS. Enroute, I was exposed to what i thought was 'insulted turtles', that left my sides trembling in laughter...too bad for the cab driver that really deserved it.

Once parked, we ended up walking round and round the HDB estate trying to find the church, when it barely 100m from where we were. Only later did I akin the feeling of the Children of Israel being brought round and round the desert for ....for...oh man...was it 40 years? And I remember, studying somewhere that they did not go round and round in a large area. In fact they weren't too far from the promised land. But God that led them in circles.

So yeah! It did feel that way..haha..let's not forget, my footie's still not back in full working condition and ge's back is still bad...so there we were dragging ourselves around and asking God to show us where it was...we walked for at least a good 20 to 25mins!

Though I was just as frustrated that an entire church buidling can be so well hidden, I was also very very amused that we couldn't spot such a large buidling. hahaha..=)

When we reached, we were late. The place was packed and we had no choice but to sit on the floor between the blocks of seats. We caught the last 10mins of the sermon and the impartation part started! And you know what, coz we were seated on the floor, we were the first to be prayed for and was able to be the first to goooo....hehehehe...last to come, first to be blessed and then able to go eat.

Hahaha..I know I know...=P But you see, I really think God planned it all. I'm serious. He probably knew these two girls just need immediate emergency 'medical' procedure, get straight to the point and let them be on their way to fill their stomachs, given the trying days that we've been experiencing. Hee...macham like a father lor...

Okie, so you're all eager to know the prophecy that was prayed for over me. I dunno what to really make of it lah...dunno if for the season or for longer years to come. So here it is:

First thing the pastor said was that for what was ahead of me, I'm going to experience and need a new kind of faith ...a stronger one...one that is different from the one I'm used to. It will have to be. It will be of a higher level than the kind of faith that I'm having with God.

Ok, I admit after this, it was all kinda fuzzy. Probably coz my child-like mind went: "Hah...really ah...sounds like what's ahead is worse than now...eeppps..God..what you mean by that..." =S

Next thing I caught was that something I usually get when I'm prayed for "...the people around you will never understand how you feel and what you're going through...But God understands and He loves you." =) it's pretty sweet lah, He's reminding me he's still watching over my life.

The next hour, I felt calm but abit 'eeeps'...hahaha...Sorry lah God, as much as I knew it's all good, I couldn't help but feel =S about it...hahaha...New kind of faith for obstacles ahead -- U mean there's more daunting stuff?!?!...Gak!!...sigh...more longsuffering...*sobz*

But thank you for building me this way and never letting me go. Providing in good time, what I need to fight the battles. Hee...

And it was in good timing indeed, coz while travelling up the elevator to the office this morning, I had my head tilted to the elevator walls, breathed deeply and felt absolutely crappy, when will it end...what is the point... Then suddenly revelation came. He's already starting the engine on the new faith...it will be a coughy and uncertain beginning...but still...=)

Yesterday, my msn nickname was Treasure in Jars of Clay. Tuesday night, the verses just popped into my mind! Out of no where lor...must be the Holy Spirit..hee...sooo it's how we all feel now...Boss, Ge and most others in the office.

And then the very next day Ge asks me if I wanna go for the impartation service lor...Master planner he is!

It's all in 2 Corinthains 4:

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. >>

=)

Yeah...We do not lose heart. And we will not lose heart. Because we have heart. God is the strength of our heart, and our portion forever.