Is stability too much to ask for?

Didn't work as late as yesterday. But it's another mad rush day. Though i ended around 7-8pm, I went out for dinner really stoned. It's been a long time since I've really dragged myself around like that and let myself go. Even eating required effort. Hah.

I don't think I can chiong bit more for today. Boss told me something that just made me...argh...at about 5.30pm. Sigh...when u take 3 steps forward, you get tossed 2 steps backward as if not frustrating enough, you're left to plot out a new route.

What more can I do today? except to share an I'm sorry to my team that in as much as we stood our ground and clarified on some matters, we now have to go mess things up again. Yup, though it did not happen to me directly, you feel as though the things you worked towards are just swept away..with a logical but stupid, and where the heck are we gg to find the time.

But i'm too detached to write the e-mail, and I guess telling them tomorrow will be better.

I gave boss attitude again today when he doesn't listen to reason. I feel bad of course, but there no time to feel bad....So i just called up the person and in a way just begged the person to please just close the matter. What more do you want?

Boss oso brought up 'last burst' with a laugh after telling me the news. I didn't find it funny. I wanted to tell retort that he must be kidding. But i held my tongue but my face turned black. You may think it's a good thing...but over here, last burst does not mean last burst of energy or final lap...its about being toyed to a point where it all plain mocks and laughs at you.

Another phone call earlier today ...sigh, you really reach a point where you'd almost say anything just to cater to the person. And then another 2 steps back.

Somany more things, but what's the point?

I though i could regulate what I had left till the end. But I don't think i can.

OK, just gg to sleep. Enough for today.