Mum: The car, The judgments and The lesson learned

For those of you who have met my mum, don't let this entry affect you too much. Hahaha...like everyone, we treat people outside differently ( OK, so i'm being presumptious in the 'everyone' but i do not think i'm that wrong...)

It's a family thing that is a constant for me and i just need to vent over here. One thing I know is that she cares for me. So what i'm saying is not liek it's a disastrous situation...but just...sigh...life could be alot better with some improvements...

I have pointed out to her many times that she never says anything positive in a conversation that we have. Anything she shares 99% of the time has a negative aspect linked to it. It virtually took God to step in and open my eyes to why we end up in heated arguments all these years. It's precisely due to the above point. Since then, I've spoken up at the right time and said :"Can find something positive to talk about?" ..and continued on to explain why it's negative.

She'd be quiet and realises the truth...but one thing as i've ever blogged b4...she's never admitted her mistake. Two ways she goes about it. (1) Change topic to something nonsensical or (2) continue on that she has a right as a mother to talk whatever she wants...*faints*

Today was a classic example. Haiz...this happened over dinner. there were other things spoken...but i shall leave them out...coz it can't compare to the one that ended the dinner...LOL!

"So you getting your car by this weekend?"

"Should be, the car is ready, only need to get the insurance settled. Trying to find one that is cheap. It's quite high now."

Shaking head with a sigh and judging look.." You spend so much on the car already..just get the insurance..." continues sighing and shaking head.

" It's not so straightforward mum, it's not just a one time thing..." (here i am still in a calm voice trying to explain so that she'll understand better...)

She just continues to shake her head, sigh and have this 'the world has died' look...cuts me off and dimisses me with an "Aiyah..."

Note, this is the first time i'm having the conversation about the car insurance with her.

That was it, dinner was over (thankfully we had already finished.) I started stacking the plates and said. " This is exactly why I didnt want to get the car and be constantly pressured by you....You dont' even know how high the insurance is!...Just make sweeping statements like this like it's all so simple. You didn't even ask to find out how much it is...or find out more...any rationale...just SWEEPING STATEMENTS!....as though i purposely want to delay my car and have nothing better to do but make myself SUFFER on car insurance.!!!"

Sigh...I don't know lah...try to have a conversation with someone that judges you before you can even have your say...

Am I still bugged?...I guess, but not so much, i'm immune to this already...

Which leads me to the purpose of my blogging...

If ever...

IF EVER...

IF EVER I think of proceeding anything involving large monetary commitment ---
RULE #1 (which you have lived by until now) --- don't let her know.

IF EVER she bring up investing in property or something involving long term or big commitment...Jean please...for your mental and emotional health...don't even think too hard about it...

Before i wanted to get the car...this was exactly what i agonised over....that this is what would happen if i went ahead...but i decided to give her a chance by laying out everything from the beginning ...expectations and all...I decided to share with her to give her a chance for positive inputs...let her have a part in one of the big decisions in my life...

Bah...i should've trusted my 28+ years of instincts...

So please should you ever hear me come sharing with you something foolish...please drag my eyeballs back to read this entry!!!!

ARGH!!!!!!