This post is dedicated to....

Angela!! aka..Ge!

I thought of it for sometime, but wondered if it would be weird since we see each other almost everyday..haha...and I decided that the first day i get my car, I'm going to do this. Hee...

So yes, it arrived today at my office at 3.25pm! SJG 7196 S Ge and noorool got the first ride in the car, i drove them to T1 airport and back! (I work near the airport lah!) boss in UK too...hiak hiak...so we can go play...=P She set my radio stations, and poked every button, switch, clamp and opening in that 15min drive!..haha...good lah..that's the idea...to have fun with something new...and of course - help me test..hee..=)

Ge has been really sweet and supportive these past 3 months and i thought one nice way to thank her is to dedicate one post to her!..and it will be archived...=) hee...

Though we've known each other since 2005 as industry colleagues, I guess we only really got more time to know each other since she joined my org. Before that would've only been msn chats or her org meetings at my office. But one thing i do remember, we did hit it off pretty well the first few times we met...haha...dunno why...could be our insane and 'boh' characters...=) My boss could see that we were friends too...

I say she's 5/6 an Angel -- true mah..haha...the remaining 1/6..well...erm..*thinking*., that is what makes her interesting and unique..hahaha...=P

Anyways, she's one of my supporters and sounding boards in my decision to get the car in April. haha...willing to hear my tedious contemplative reasonings during the decision making process, licence plate blues, spending that extra $$$$ on the GPS, insurance, etc. Others would've switched off at some point! And one of those that asked (not in a bug-you sense) -- when is it coming ah?? LOL!

You should've seen her the last two days...her expression was more excited about me getting my car (supposed to come on mon/tues) than me! hahaha...Yesterday, she was on msn threatening to tear apart my car salesguy, coz he was supposed to deliver it yest afternoon...but went MIA...not bad huh, she' the team lead in my terror posse! HAHAHA...

But more than ever she was and still is a great support to me during my 2 months of footie pain.

She gave me a ride from home to the office and back everyday. ( and i know how bad that eunos exit is on weekday mornings and the extra fuel cost to her lor...)...i never for a day wanted to assume she'd give me a ride and i told her that before...but she was faithful and would drop me an sms no matter how late: " Girl, tom same time k?"... =)

She nagged me when i moved around too much/ didn't use me crutches...haha..she shoos me to go use them, or squawks: " You KLKK somemore!??!"...or bars me from walking any further...haha... and that expression on her face when i rebelled..haha...drama in the office...=P

What I'm super thankful for is really the emotional support during this time. There were some really tough periods/ points. Even my close friends or others couldn't seem to understand that i don't need 'all-those-other' things...it's hard to describe...i don't need you to be there 24/7 kinda thg...i guess it's my personality to bite bullets and say things are ok.. but with longer illnesses, you have depression...Especially since I could only go between home and work...

I think if you ask her if she did give all that much emotional support...haha..she would probably go "huh!?"...and when i thanked her..she'd ask me to stop thanking her, coz she's just being her!..haha...

She celebrates with me when i felt happy on good footie days and 'poked' me when i was down...she did things like remind me not to get stressed over work (coz my footie will get worse), shoo me to sleep/ home...and come bug me with silly things that make me laugh..actually, most of the time at work..when she is herself...it's quite funny to me - non serious work time of course..( but you know me...almost everything can be converted to a joke..).haha...she freely gave the random pokes and hugs needed to get by a tough few hours...

One incident i really remember...it was a real stressful day at work. One of those which boss has just reminded you how much more of the mountain had to be scaled and the rest of the world seemed to be knocking on my door with some issue or another. Frustration that to do the simplest thing like photocopy something was so tough and time consuming - and in my work..i need to walk ard quite abit sometimes...Family, relatives and frens looking on at me and questioning me what am i not doing right that is keeping me this way...And the belief that i was going to recover soon was starting to waver... i couldn't' even play or hug my dog any more!!! and to see my dog accommodate and wait patiently for my recovery made me sad... argh!!!

Not sure what we talked about on msn, but it was about my footie...and she said " I dont' want you to feel as though you are going through this alone k"...

She doesn't know this but I cried abit then...yeah..in me office..=) i guess i was close to just exploding, and her encouragement was timely...coz it settled all the TNT built up for the explosion in a few minutes...=)

Ok..am crying again. hee...suddenly remembering all that pressure then...

So yeah...Angela, thanks so much.. really even with such a long post..there is so much more to add... but it's really true that words cannot express the appreciation that I feel.

It is a privilege and joy to be your friend. And I dunno if you do...but I see God when He arranged, planned, sent and used simple Ge in my life (plopped you from the sky?? haha..ok..lame joke..)....a reminder to me on how He's never late...=)

Thanks Girl..=) *hugz*

(Part Four) 21st October 2006 - Hokitika at night

Back at the hostel, those who were in, were all decked out next to the fireplace lazing and enjoying a good book while enjoying the sunset. That sunset was one of the main reasons why i picked that hostel. It is really a paranomic view!...unfortunately, too bright to photograph..hee

I started talking to the british couple. They were in their forties, quit their jobs and were taking a long holiday travel trip I think. All i remember was that they were on a 6 to 8 month travel trip!!!! gosh...and they had already stayed at hokitika for 2 weeks!!!! When asked where they were heading to next, the husband told me to ask the missus, coz it's up to her....seems, they didnt plan anything, and simply read about NZ in a book while they stay at one place and when the missus feels like it...they get up and go!!! I wish i could do that manz...

Halfway through walked in a canadian teacher, whom i understood, also took up the part time job of cleaning the hostel (ie.. She had just come back from a course on jade carving (hokitika is famous for that) She has been in Hokitika a week, and flustered that her carving skills were not giving her the desired result. Oh well, she still had tomorrow. So it seemed that in Canada, there is a program on that allows teachers to take a 3 year break to explore the world. Semi paid for i think. So that they can bring back thier knowledge and experinces to the classroom...Cool huh...

Neil the owner of the hostel was there chatting too. He was cutting up the bread that he made daily as a hobby to share with everyone. His dog was adorable, though regrettably I can't remember his name..=)

Dinner...dinner time really isn't easy when you're backpacking alone. That is something I really remember from this trip. Being really tired from the day's long and treacherous drive which was dangerous...I couldn't muster myself to think much about food to stuff myself with.

So I cooked instant noodles. Can't go wrong there.

It was the first time i experienced that kind of communal cooking. It's just a silent understanding that you give a bit of way and space yourself, so that you do not hog the stove or get into each others way too much. No one is mean of course, but you jsut pick your spot somewhere to be your food preparation corner, get/ wait for the appropriate pot/ pan and just cook...

Then everyone ate on their own...either with a book, in front of the computer...

Darkness sets in fast there. I asked around if anyone had gone visit the glow worm grotto. I planned to since i'd never seen a glow worm in me life!..some had, most had not. well, at the end of the day, i managed to get all of them to go..LOL..we made it an outing.

It is quite a walk and since it's pitch black outside, those with cars volunteered to take those who didnt. the british couple took mine and the husband drove..=)

Because we were by the sea...IT WAS SUPER COLD LOR!!!...hahaha...when we reached, we all jsut stood in the dark to get our eyes adjusted. Honestly, it wasn't fantastic..haha..the glow was very faint. but they were numerous! Below is a feeble attempt of me to get a picture...yes..i know..it's black...you can't photograph glow worms with FLASH!!..( another lesson in life learned)...hahaha

below: we balanced the cameras on a fence and took pics of our trip to the grotto. Girl in the hat is the canadian teacher. British couple is teh two standing on the right.

back at the hostel, I settled myself quickly...it was damn cold and i had quite a bit to do before sleeping. Took some photos in the room...i really like the wall paintings of the animals by Neil's wife (a school art teacher)...they are so me...LOL...


Painting is a Kea. (seen to be pests in NZ)..and the soft toy sheep I just couldn't resist posing with, if you know me lah..hahaha...

After a shower, i went to seek the warmth of the fireplace and at the same time plan my route for tomorrow. I was a little concerned. If tomorrow was going to be the same bad drive given it was the rainy period, sould i make it in time to my destinations? A novice, I had several maps to refer to. Some were helpful...but u had to do alot of cross references. Example, one had a map that sucked, but it had estimated kilometres and driving times between towns. Which a better map did not...=)

the canadian teacher was nice...though she couldnt' assure me, she talked to me about my home Singapore. She was going to visit after her stint in NZ, probably 6 months later and we swapped contacts. (you know what...SHE REALLY contacted me in April 2007!)

At one point, I just gave it to God. haha...no point worrying over something you have no control. =)

The rest of the hostellers were playing a new game (the israeli teens were teaching.) I can't remember thier names now. 2 gals and one guy. They said it's an israeli game...forgot the name..but as i watched, i realised it's similar to UNO. when i said that, the israel teens never heard of it!..hahaha...interesting how cultures overlap...

Anyway, i played the first game with assistance and the second alone. I won the second..ahhaa...the group started talking about beginner's luck, coz every new person they taught won it the first time. =) it was a real laugh...but it felt great then to see a group of strangers of diff backgrounds enjoying time together. =)

that's when i started to feel that this trip was only going to get better.=) and the loneliness of my first day was gone...=)

this post was just supposed to be about 3 litres of water...haha..

I’m probably responsible for wasting close to 3litres of water.

I work on my lappie with my back to my room door. So my sister came in and made a comment. Key words I noted from what she said at that point. Toilet bowl -Again - Water.

I was in the midst of thinking about something for work. And unless you said “Dog –dead OR house-fire”, the only response you are likely to get from me is a acknowledging mumble. So it was only after over an hour, when I stepped out of my room, that the running water I heard in the background of my mind made sense.

The toilet bowl couldn’t stop topping up new water and ran in the steady small stream. Thus the square cistern did its melodious sounds of water against porcelain and the mechanics within, choking to restore itself.

“Oh.” Was all I could say when it hit me. Hahaha...I felt apologetic that it had happened, yet amused that I was that absorbed in my thoughts.

Took me about a minute to tinker with it and announced. “It should be ok now...just give it sometime to top up completely and return to normal. If it doesn’t I’ll check it again. “No one seemed to care...just as well then. I rather that than a remark of “what took you so long”. =)

If you hadn’t guessed I’m the handyman..er..woman at home. My sis contributes too in areas she has expertise in. LOL! I have pliers, screwdrivers, wirestrippers and a circuit test pen in the stationery cup on my table. The fact that the tool box is in my room does say quite abit!..haha..

I never realised how unnatural it was until i was older. I guess not having a dad or brothers aroung the house does have that impact in your life. Especially since my home is big, old and falling apart!

Plugs, wires, hinges, sockets, fuses, screws, rollers, switches, assembly, shower head, pipes, changing the gas tank, and lotsa other troubleshooting...hahaha...hmm...suddenly i can’t think!...Ah..and toilet bowls...=)

I’m proud to say that my time with toilet bowls had come in handy for the office common toilet many times. Seems other users couldn’t care less. I don’t expect all females to know how to fix one, but at least report it!! Sigh...Anyway, i’m no expert also and when all else failed, I would ‘call it in’. =)

Hahaha...which reminds me how ‘kiam’ i am also...hahaha...I pretty much like to improvise and save money on proper equipment or call someone in to do it professionally.

Once we had a problem with the back door. It kept slamming loudly due to the strong winds. My mum was going to spend $40 buying some stainless steel latch for the door. Which required drilling it in and spoiling the wood. I said, “Mum, I’ve got an idea. It’s ugly but it will solve your problem. Are you willing to live with it?” She didn’t protest...it was the back door for goodness sake! Hahaha...anyway, I took a string, tied one end to the door knob, and on the other end, tied it to those ‘S’ hooks sold in supermarkets (3 for $1 type) and hooked it to the fence behind the door. When you want to close the door, just unhook! =P It has lasted us 4 years.

Just last year, my mum was going to call in the pros to do a fencing in my home, to keep my dog out of the mini garden (she dug deep holes, threatening to collapse the trees, and left muddy prints everywhere and rolled around the mud!). I said the same thing to my mum as above...but I needed more time, this was harder!

Hahaha...eventually, i tied several strong BBQ wire gauze together with those ‘twisty’ wires used to hold electrical wires, and shoved them between flower pots to make them stand...It worked! – my dog hated me...LOL!...you should’ve seen the look on her face when she saw me putting it up....it was aloof and disdain in one expression!! Hahaha....I love my dog...=)

I was quite embarrassed when i called the BBQ wholesale centre for the gauze. Haha..."Hello, BBQ wholesale centre? Sorry, I have a strange request...Can i just buy one item from you without food?"..." Yes i want your wire gauze"...."Er..how many ah..haha..please don't laugh when i tell you k...hahaha"....." I need 20." the person on the line didn't laugh. She probably thought i was having a major BBQ session!!...but i laughed at myself instead...LOL!

=) as i look back on this it explains quite abit about me,..... especially if you ever come to my office and see crumpled paper/cardboard shoved into the newer name card boxes of all my colleagues. =D You’ll understand when you see it...hahaha..=)

Okie...gotta go..can't believe i talked so much..heee....carried away...=)

It's coming mate!

My long awaited car is coming!

After a week and a half of mulling over the insurance, I've got it settled! =)

I'm guessing my car will be registered tomorrow and all they'll need to do is get the plates up. So I'm looking at a mon/ tues delivery eh? My mum can't wait for the number to be out...4-D has been on her mind!

Too bad me boss is away, so he wun get to see me new car...hee..

Oh...and i feel sorry for Lin...last week, i just asked her how much her insurance was. She got a mazda 2 back in nov...so that is recent enough like me in order to compare the quotations. She never thought much about it since it was compulsory she get it from the car agent. But she went to check anyhow.

The next day, she got into a car accident! ah dui...man...i couldnt' help but feel i was a factor in that...hahha...in addition, i kinda helped her 'dig' out the insurance forms and look through them to see the coverage etc..

Wanted to ask her how she was...but she didnt reply my msn...oh wellz...we aren't that close anyway, just uni hostel mates and she was my junior somemore...i looked for her last time for tutorials coz we were in the same course..hahaha...

In uni...u really cannot paiseh to ask manz...it's a survival thing. We're all in it together, although the sad fact is we're using each other...haha...i know of some..practically despise each other (but they dun show it of course)..BUT they study together during exams..duh!!

It's Friday Night!

Hello...i'm back! this post may be a bit on the weird side because i'm feeling stoned now. An intensive day at work, dinner..watched CSI online...tried reading. But after 6 pages, I fell asleep. I think it must have been at 830pm. Woke up at 1130pm. Feeling totally unrested. Why? Coz i vividly remember that my dream involved budgetting and planning. Funniest thing...i'm not even supposed to be doing this particular budget/planning! --not my dept mah...haha..Ge would be happy...hahaha...but no..it was one of those dreams where you think/ do alot...but the actual product, you never get to see..hee...=)

Ah well, I'm still happy it's friday. Get to rest in tomorrow.

For my personal reference in future. Today was cheque writing day. I worked at it non-stop and i mean non-stop from 1010am to 4.40pm. No toilet breaks...only time i got up was to move around was to handle cheque related matters...haha...when i finished the last one, iw as so happy i could’ve danced a jig in my office...but was held back because my office was in full view of 20 odd people from the industry having a meeting...

so i ran off like a kid, dumped the cheques on one of my signatories and did the jig in my boss’s office since he was busy elsewhere.. haha..his office more private lah..

Thinking back, cheques used to take me half a day, or 3 hours the most. (this is my org up till end 2006). These days, if I allow other things to 'harrass' me, it would take me a day and a half. =)

I actually do enjoy writing cheques. The challenging part is the ever changing configuration of staff strength and wages. That's where CPF comes in. It's as though every month there's something new to recalculate.

Example, sudden influx of interns and new staff = pro-rating everything+informing CPF of new/ leaving staff. Sorting out allowances and adjustment to wages affects how it's declared to CPF, whether it has reach the allowable max. And of course, internally having to separate the different contributions either coming from employer or employee and making sure it all tallies up -- no joke to under-declare lor...Gah-men leh...it's like under-declaring your taxes!!! *stress*.....oh and let's not forget SDL and all the nitty gritties. =) Interesting manz...

I guess it's coincidence, that on a quieter month, someone gets confirmed after their probation and i'm at it on re-calculations again. =)

In my org, the above keeps changing...and i only have less than 10 staff ok...gone are the days i can close eyes and tick the box "same as previous month"...hahaha...ok lah...my org is dynamic...never a dull moment. --> hear the positivity in me voice?...hee...

oh...and the other one that delays me...my boss's reimbursements...(I suddenly picture myself strangling him..)..hahaha...i only have one thing to say.." He is ALL OVER THE PLACE lor!!!" ...consolidating his receipts are like asking a group of 15 eight year olds on a sugar high to sit down and watch Shakespeare...haha...But ok lah, this is where the fun part comes. I get to call boss and demand things. -- " where your phone bill? this receipt where one? Your petrol receipt also found it's way to me ah? How come this month so high? "..of course i say it all in jest but still want an answer. My boss is the coolest lah...he complies to me when it comes to this. =)

HAHAHA...the joys of being financial control. The amusing thing -- everyone knows when Jean is doing the cheques, coz everyone gets interrogated/ harassed one way or another. =)

But the 'best' thing today lor...I called El and asked where an invoice was...she said she was very sure she left it on me table...one thing i know..I've been shuffling through my finance stack of what-nots alot lately (FY end mah) so i was sure i never got it...but i never want to be unreasonable to any of my colleagues...so i went shuffling through every stack on my table...=) Anyway, i was right, she sheepishly appeared at my door and passed it to me when she found it in her file! =S I strangled her for a moment. LOL!

Ah well, that's my office day for you. By 5pm i was burnt. My counterpart was too...long day for her toos..i ended up stoning by resting me head on her poor tissue box.. while we shared frustrations for the day... It was nice to do that for a while. =) Boss was packing up next door...and you should've seen the looks on our faces when he called us over. Hahaha...it was as though we were issued summons to appear in court!....But i knew it was coming ..my boss is leaving for a week on biz...so it's his usual de-brief to me on what he wants done while he is away (but now oso got Ge lah...) neways, we're guai lah...we shuffled over and listened. =)

That's my friday logged in. =)

Push comes to shove...I am still thankful for His blessings and i look forward to the surprises He has in store for me. ..=)

haiz...sometimes...

I try not to be too negative on me blog...especially these days when i'm getting better. Still, past 2-3 days, the 3rd dog..aka. Whisky who is a braown dachshund. Has been causing trouble.

I know it's natural. ie. he is a boy..my doberman is a girl going thru her period...explains abit doesn't it? Well, apart from my concern of my doby getting pregnant ( can't do much now till her period ends) but he just keeps harassing her...and my poor doberman has to keep getting up/ walking away to shake him off...she's losing sleep i'm sure...coz i can see sh'es tired.

Seperate them lah -- i hear you think. Sigh...that Whisky whimpers and whines VERY LOUDLY non stop when this happens. this is extrememly irritating...In such a state that the neighbours would think we're abusing him.

Today, to give my doberman a break in the day, i tied him up before going to work. I heard he went on the whole day...the parking attendant a few doors down thought Red bit Whisky and whisky was in pain...you see what i mean?

He went on and on the whole of tonight. Already earlier in the evening, we tried muzzling him...didnt work.

I was trying to do work tonight too...and the fact my modem kept disconnecting made me even more frustrated. My mails couldnt' go out and i was particularly angry over this person who takes 11 months of administrative headaches to make a $150 payment. I was writing him a warning - again. Having been so cordial all the while, this time I couldnt' help but 'suan' him...now he's got 48 hours to make payment (according to a deadline he gave me)...else i'll really really scream at him...

My big sister waltzed into my room and asked if I thought of a solution to keep him quiet...or did i find one on the web.

Soon, mum came in and was extremely unhelpful about whisky...saying things like give him away, return him to the pet shop. Duh...i had to talk some sense into her. For one, the brat was adopted. I told her, plan is to get him neutered, will hopefully solve the problem. She said, ok , then go get an appt and bring him lah...

I couldnt' take it anymore man...it's as though i have all the time in the world now...she also asked me for a few more things, all which need office hours to look into...I can't even remember to call AVA about my own dog licence!!! Let alone remember to make an appt for a dog!!! when i call AVA...it rings forever and ends off with.." please record your message after the beep...sorry the mailbox is full"..ENGAGE tone..!@&^@&#@#_. it doens't help that my car insurance is ding-donging now...and work is pressurising!

What do I look like????!?! --- problem solver and solution sounding board ah?!?!

*breathe*

Anyway...at one point I charged down the stairs...possibly killing my foot...GROWL...and whacked the floor near the dog so hard many times, till my hand hurt. i just wanted to strike fear into him to keep quiet...guess what it didn't work...suddenly, I just wanted to drown him! Better still..solve the immediate problem and castrate him!!! ARGH!!!

Unable to take it anymore, I went back upstairs and cleared my brain and cried. I decided...I shall completely ignore him...yes...why bother at all...if the neighbours complain and recommend to de-bark him...I shall not stand in the way...why bother protecting this ungrateful mutt!!!!

Sigh....ok...i've had my say...I need to calm down else i'd never sleep...

I will probably dream of having roasted dachshund meat ....HAHAHAHA....=)

Hahaha...=)

Last friday, I had lunch with my colleagues in the board room...There was this article in TODAY that reported watermelons had the same effect as viagra. I dunno what possessed me...but i told them... " Let's start selling watermelons and pioneer a stall along Geylang...ahhahaha...then we'll put up this article at our stall to convince people - like those hawker food stalls- and we'll translate it into 4 languages to ensure optimal market...hahaha...good leh...watermelons are healthy too mah...double effect! Soon we will have a franchise!"

Everyone was amused at how nonsensical it was...but hey..got report and stats leh...=P
hehehe...i'm still laughing now even as i type this...=D

Went to the doc today...

Yesterday morning i woke up and knew that my foot wasn't getting better for two consecutive mornings. I had gone for 9 consecutive days to electrocute my foot...I had given it the chance to work...and the progress is not forthcoming.

Something was not right...and I just know i've got to get it checked. It's been too long, and the symptoms are getting weirder. In addition this problem is taking it's toll on me...

So I tried to make an appointment with a specialist at Changi General Hospital. The same one i went to years ago when i first knew i had gout. They told me coz i was so new that my next appt date would be on 22 July. Sigh...anyway, to cut the long story short, i had no choice but to gate crash into my mum's appointment with the same doc, Dr Low. =) same surname..hahaha..

He gave me new meds and said he'll see me in a week for the progress. An 8 day hospitalisation leave. He sent me to the vampire room...where they drained me of two vials. He'll go through the results with me the next time.

The new meds made me curious. So i googled it -- Arcoxia

Firstly, it scared me abit to see it not being approved in certain parts of the world (mainly the USA) due to it's risks...*faints*...doesn't help he has given me the highest allowable dose (according to the web) of 120mg and cannot be taken for more than 8 days in a row..*gulp* he prescribed me for that...

Then i read it's link to Rheumathoid Arthiritis...and that made me sit up because that was a familiar item on my blood test...

Looking at my receipt, here is what i'm being tested for:
1) Urate (Uric) ---> this one is my typical gout test which tells me the uric acid levels in my body
2) Full Blood Count --> no idea
3) Rheumatoid Arthritis test

I've heard of the 3rd one before. I thought it's just a generic term for a group of arthritis. (my gout is a form of arthritis)

Googling and reading further, i felt myself being drained more...and just teared coz i'm so tired and went to look for Red get my mind off things. I'm not going to detail more today. Maybe another day...

But some of the general effects that i'm feeling are pretty close. Other than the obvious inflammation, pain and joint pain.

Unable to sleep
Fatigue and noticeable loss of energy
Low grade fevers and sometimes flu-like symptoms
Depression

It's no wonder in can't sleep well everyday and even after a full day awake, I can't sleep (it's 3am now lor...)

I'm not resigned that i have the disease even before the results are out...but...these feelings are hard to describe.

Bah...don't' wanna talk about it anymore...

will try to go sleep...

Mum: The car, The judgments and The lesson learned

For those of you who have met my mum, don't let this entry affect you too much. Hahaha...like everyone, we treat people outside differently ( OK, so i'm being presumptious in the 'everyone' but i do not think i'm that wrong...)

It's a family thing that is a constant for me and i just need to vent over here. One thing I know is that she cares for me. So what i'm saying is not liek it's a disastrous situation...but just...sigh...life could be alot better with some improvements...

I have pointed out to her many times that she never says anything positive in a conversation that we have. Anything she shares 99% of the time has a negative aspect linked to it. It virtually took God to step in and open my eyes to why we end up in heated arguments all these years. It's precisely due to the above point. Since then, I've spoken up at the right time and said :"Can find something positive to talk about?" ..and continued on to explain why it's negative.

She'd be quiet and realises the truth...but one thing as i've ever blogged b4...she's never admitted her mistake. Two ways she goes about it. (1) Change topic to something nonsensical or (2) continue on that she has a right as a mother to talk whatever she wants...*faints*

Today was a classic example. Haiz...this happened over dinner. there were other things spoken...but i shall leave them out...coz it can't compare to the one that ended the dinner...LOL!

"So you getting your car by this weekend?"

"Should be, the car is ready, only need to get the insurance settled. Trying to find one that is cheap. It's quite high now."

Shaking head with a sigh and judging look.." You spend so much on the car already..just get the insurance..." continues sighing and shaking head.

" It's not so straightforward mum, it's not just a one time thing..." (here i am still in a calm voice trying to explain so that she'll understand better...)

She just continues to shake her head, sigh and have this 'the world has died' look...cuts me off and dimisses me with an "Aiyah..."

Note, this is the first time i'm having the conversation about the car insurance with her.

That was it, dinner was over (thankfully we had already finished.) I started stacking the plates and said. " This is exactly why I didnt want to get the car and be constantly pressured by you....You dont' even know how high the insurance is!...Just make sweeping statements like this like it's all so simple. You didn't even ask to find out how much it is...or find out more...any rationale...just SWEEPING STATEMENTS!....as though i purposely want to delay my car and have nothing better to do but make myself SUFFER on car insurance.!!!"

Sigh...I don't know lah...try to have a conversation with someone that judges you before you can even have your say...

Am I still bugged?...I guess, but not so much, i'm immune to this already...

Which leads me to the purpose of my blogging...

If ever...

IF EVER...

IF EVER I think of proceeding anything involving large monetary commitment ---
RULE #1 (which you have lived by until now) --- don't let her know.

IF EVER she bring up investing in property or something involving long term or big commitment...Jean please...for your mental and emotional health...don't even think too hard about it...

Before i wanted to get the car...this was exactly what i agonised over....that this is what would happen if i went ahead...but i decided to give her a chance by laying out everything from the beginning ...expectations and all...I decided to share with her to give her a chance for positive inputs...let her have a part in one of the big decisions in my life...

Bah...i should've trusted my 28+ years of instincts...

So please should you ever hear me come sharing with you something foolish...please drag my eyeballs back to read this entry!!!!

ARGH!!!!!!

another tiring day

It's been another tiring day...I dunno why...my day did start later today...yet...i feel as though i've toiled the whole day! =(

Doesn't help that i'm supposed to be doing laundry today...delayed it for a week already....

*wails*....am tired...*stares blankly at laundry basket*

Still got thing to think about somemore! ...sniffs...*buries head*...

it's so tempting to nap...but these days...my naps are very ill disciplined..as much as i plan 10 mins...it stretches to at least 2 hours! then there goes my sleep pattern for the night...*growl*