...I'm writing this post as my last sane and strong moment before I plunge into the next hour...
I'm chewing my nails nervously as I think of what to type next....
I dunno what led me to this point. I mean...I know what I did...but what compelled me, I.....I still can't grasp why...
It started off with me innocently reading a schedule online. There, I spotted a title.
I did a simple search on reviews for it online...and it came back...Good...Very good...
Still skeptical, i was pleased to see the thumbnail for the 'See trailer here'!
Yes...turns out, it's a Stephen King adaptation from one of his short stories.
And you know what...the stupid trailer made me jump even though i kept telling myself ---"Brace yourself!!! anytime now!!"
So yes...i started glancing away from the screen till the end of the trailer.
In short, it's about this hotel room 1408 that is haunted and no one has survived in there longer than an hour...
Now, after such a trailer, you'd think any logical person would back away right?...No...Smart ass me just can't do that..I went to search for it online. It's a 2007 flick, so it should be somewhere...
Easy Peasy to find...
So yes, I'm now in the midst of it. All my lights in the bedroom are on, and i'm still deciding what to hide behind!!!
I have paused it jsut before the stupid guy puts the key into the room door...so that I can write this post....and guess what....TO MY HORROR...there's exactly 60mins of the movie left...
Remember what I said about the room earlier? About lasting an hour??
*whimper*....so how....
So zun leh the timing....60mins!!!
Chinese 7th month somemore!!! ARGHHHH!!!!!
hehehehe...This is sheer madness!
I hope I will return to write the next post...unless...i could've just fainted in my chair...and no one would know...=O
good bye....i shall bravely continue the mooovie...sniffs...
Thursday, 27 August 2009
Wednesday, 26 August 2009
so I went...
This evening...it was an interesting concept the place. Bridal shop in a house! i guess with such skill and talent. You can go that direction and she's good. Pricey but recommended. Really a pro.
the time after that?... ok lah....mmmm...dunno what to say...
I had the chance to express I could kill someone,...also air some of my thoughts on the matter.
Got accused for not updating! Hah! I knew it! Grrr...then when tables turned it became, circumstancial..what's this...
Dumbfounded by some replies. Goodness...the complication gets worse...*keeping arms length*...
But I was a good girl overall k...Except there was once point...for a moment I almost...I almost..but I let it go...and I dwopped her home..
*pouts*
the time after that?... ok lah....mmmm...dunno what to say...
I had the chance to express I could kill someone,...also air some of my thoughts on the matter.
Got accused for not updating! Hah! I knew it! Grrr...then when tables turned it became, circumstancial..what's this...
Dumbfounded by some replies. Goodness...the complication gets worse...*keeping arms length*...
But I was a good girl overall k...Except there was once point...for a moment I almost...I almost..but I let it go...and I dwopped her home..
*pouts*
Tuesday, 25 August 2009
Feel
Been slightly burdened tonight ...even after so many hours. I got an sms on the way home, then read it in my car before I alighted. I sat in the car for a while longer...it saddened me I felt this way. And it made me wonder what I should do.
I feel bad for feeling the way I do, but I can't imagine feeling otherwise. But it's a sad feeling to have.
I guess I'd never thought it'd have an effect on me.
You always thought you'd play a significant role in a close friend's wedding preps, picking out stuff, planning... stressing together over even the smallest things...and yeah, doing all the things close friends do till the big day comes. Simply coz you're happy and you're supposed to go through all the stupid stuff together as friends right?
But things have changed...and I can't find it in me to be really happy or strong enough anymore, and go stick myself into it. That is, I know i won't be doing coz I want to nor love enough to do so.... And I'm sad for myself that i've reached such a stage. (Not that I'm sour about it...i'm helping out in another wedding and it's a joy. =)
It's hard to describe...maybe it's like..then things you thought you'd be a part of and you no longer are, is a sad reminder that even though things have moved, the change means something is lost.
It's not that I wasn't invited to participate. I was..in the sms...but I couldn't. No....I just couldn't. So I said I had reached home, which was true, and added - enjoy yourselves! Honestly, if it were someone else, I'd drive off again in a heartbeat -- when had reaching home ever stopped me lor...hahaha...
=)
Silly me, I can cry and still write something like that to laugh at myself in a blog entry. =)
I feel bad for feeling the way I do, but I can't imagine feeling otherwise. But it's a sad feeling to have.
I guess I'd never thought it'd have an effect on me.
You always thought you'd play a significant role in a close friend's wedding preps, picking out stuff, planning... stressing together over even the smallest things...and yeah, doing all the things close friends do till the big day comes. Simply coz you're happy and you're supposed to go through all the stupid stuff together as friends right?
But things have changed...and I can't find it in me to be really happy or strong enough anymore, and go stick myself into it. That is, I know i won't be doing coz I want to nor love enough to do so.... And I'm sad for myself that i've reached such a stage. (Not that I'm sour about it...i'm helping out in another wedding and it's a joy. =)
It's hard to describe...maybe it's like..then things you thought you'd be a part of and you no longer are, is a sad reminder that even though things have moved, the change means something is lost.
It's not that I wasn't invited to participate. I was..in the sms...but I couldn't. No....I just couldn't. So I said I had reached home, which was true, and added - enjoy yourselves! Honestly, if it were someone else, I'd drive off again in a heartbeat -- when had reaching home ever stopped me lor...hahaha...
=)
Silly me, I can cry and still write something like that to laugh at myself in a blog entry. =)
Monday, 24 August 2009
Moi weekend!
After dinner, I went to bathe Red rambutan! She's cute when I tie her up to dry at night. She always wants the spot under the stars. When I go out and peek at her from the window later, without her knowing, I'll see her with her nose pointed in the air looking at the heavens. =) I always wondered what she was thinking about.....humph...probably wondering what is the next snack! hahahaha...=)
I was supposed to bathe her over the weekend as part of the 'flea combat'! So fast hor, it's already been 2 weeks since the national day weekend when she first got her dose. I'm happy to report that it's been very effective for her but not so for the smaller dogs. I told my sister that their dose may not be enough although prescribed accordingly.
The fleas on Red just died, literally! I see the spot around her sleep area and it’s dotted with dead fleas! In fact, when I stroke her in the first few days, the dead fleas were on top of her coat like dandruff! Too bad it’s not been effective for the other dogs. Cloudy still reports at least 2 per day and whiskey is still plagued by the mini babies. We’re continuing the battle. But I’m happy Red is flea free. She must be so much happier, with less itches and me walking towards her with pliers to remove the stubborn ones! Hahaha...
Yes, so back to the weekend. I had intended to bathe her late on Sunday afternoon. She glared at me when I waved her towards the wash area. Because it’s in the open and that time was windy with a slight drizzle starting! Hahaha...I’m not so cruel lah...though i have to say, I once had to bathe her in the rain. And I was damn cold man. Every rain drop felt as though someone had shoved an ice cube down my shirt!
So I patted her and told her: “Operation bathe the Dobie is aborted.” =)
The weekend was good, starting from Friday night. It was a zone meeting at Jurong West, and Pst Derek was preaching. It’s been ages since I last drove down to Jurong church. First time in my Blooie. The last time was in a rented car. I was late already lor and after making that irritating U-turn, i found out the church car park was closed...=S...*growl*...why have a car park when you ain’t going to open it!
So yes, I had to do a detour of sorts, and I dunno why but I was so compliant to all traffic rules, I kept driving and looking till I found a proper U-turn – a good 1 to 2 km from church!
As I drove up the multi-storey carpark opposite church, I remembered the first time I drove my rented car to park there, I took 20 mins to reverse park and I scratched the back door against the wall. My first scrape and last on a rented car! LOL...there went my $100 deposit man...hahaha
Late already and I reached with a few other latecomers, and pastor was at point 3 of 6. When he finished at 10, we all had a short break. We were going to have overnight prayer meeting till 3am lor...but I only stayed till 12am. (i.e. the first break), before saying goodbye to the resilient 3 who remained and scuttled off with the rest.
Anna had to work on Saturday, else i’d think she’d stay. Anyway, good ol’, always never eat dinner before cg/service, Jeano declared she was going to eat!..hahaha...my ‘scuttle crew’ was delighted. So since all of them live ard the toa payoh area, we settled for Mac’s there.
I only reached home at 2am. =) thank god never run into any police roadblock...always kenna one lor...not that I do anything wrong, but it’s leh chey and they look at you like you’re some POTENTIAL criminal! Anyway, being Friday night, I zonked late as usual.
And woke up EARLIER than usual on Saturday...ok ok...when you hear the time, you’re going to whack me, but this is really an earlier time than normal, due to my morning sleep being intermittent. I woke at 1.30pm! *big wide grin*
After cooking lunch, I settled down in front of my comp to surf, only to stumble upon some update on my first Nintendo game that I conquered! – Super Mario Bros! Hahaha...seems like Wii just launched the latest in June 2009. =) I started reliving pictures and game settings from various sites....
I also started doing insane things like walk around my home saying: “goomba....Gooomba....GOOOMBA!!!” and changed my msn and wallpaper to a cute pic of the Goomba!
Hahaha...the Little Goomba is a baddie in Super Mario Bros, he has such a ‘duh’ name it’s fun!
My sister who was in her room trying to read her book was not amused....because, I soon had her humming the Super Mario tune too...hehehehe...i’m so infectious!
Evening time, mum and me were off to Gong Gong’s for a beeday dinner. It was my cousin’s son’s beeday. He’s 3! Goodness...I’m not good on such family things, but you do what you gotta do lah....Thank God no one asked where my sis was. Humph...So it was a feast of KFC, pizza, and chilli crab with lotsa man tous! Hehehe...We all had to fulfil our quota we had ordered by sms earlier in the week. Am proud to say – I know my stomach well! Hahaha...
At the dinner, I ended up surrounded by the elderly folk! Coz there was no more room at the young table (so we call it)...ok lah, in my situation, there’s no better table one. So I took my plate and tried to blend into the rosewood furniture.
After dinner, it was strange to sit around with my cousins; all surrounded by their wives or girl friends! =S it’s funny how you can take a step back and observe..hehehe...the quiet and submissive wife, the girlfriend who knows I can tahan wise cracks, the other girlfriend who understandably clings on to the boyfriend coz she is still not that familiar with the whole crowd...hahaha...
I came home and continued with this Anime I started just before leaving for dinner! It’s like a nostalgic weekend for me, first super Mario, then I recalled this anime I liked alot back in 1999! But they never released all the episodes on VCD in Singapore or something. It’s called Fruits Basket.
I was hoping by now, someone would’ve posted them all up on youtube and I was right! In fact, it was all dubbed into English already...hehehe...even better.
I watched NON STOP...up till 6am on Sunday morning! Now now...before you chide me...I was awake not because of the show, but coz I was having bad diarehea the whole night...sigh...and coz of the bad tummy, I missed out on service.
I eventually finished all 26 episodes by Sunday night (with many interruptions in between.) Still I was happy I got to watch all of it. Like what I told Sharon over msn, the main character is too good to be true. BUT, she in essence, reminded me of the basics of life struggles, that it takes effort to understand everyone, never assume, to being accepted for who you are, to work hard, to appreciate what you have today, to find something in yourself to love, to comfort those who are in pain, to believe in others... and that love will always involve a sacrifice of sorts...daily...even though the entire series is largely surrounding a supernatural theme.
Every episode made me laugh and cry very hard. =) It’s a good cartoon for youth I think, coz it addresses many issues faced by each character, from the insanities of high school puppy love to serious heartbreaking recounts of parental rejection and daily abuse from birth.
It had no happy nor sad ending. Just as it is, no miracles, but with perseverence, love, faith and the belief that the fight is never not worth the while. Fact of life. =)
I was supposed to bathe her over the weekend as part of the 'flea combat'! So fast hor, it's already been 2 weeks since the national day weekend when she first got her dose. I'm happy to report that it's been very effective for her but not so for the smaller dogs. I told my sister that their dose may not be enough although prescribed accordingly.
The fleas on Red just died, literally! I see the spot around her sleep area and it’s dotted with dead fleas! In fact, when I stroke her in the first few days, the dead fleas were on top of her coat like dandruff! Too bad it’s not been effective for the other dogs. Cloudy still reports at least 2 per day and whiskey is still plagued by the mini babies. We’re continuing the battle. But I’m happy Red is flea free. She must be so much happier, with less itches and me walking towards her with pliers to remove the stubborn ones! Hahaha...
Yes, so back to the weekend. I had intended to bathe her late on Sunday afternoon. She glared at me when I waved her towards the wash area. Because it’s in the open and that time was windy with a slight drizzle starting! Hahaha...I’m not so cruel lah...though i have to say, I once had to bathe her in the rain. And I was damn cold man. Every rain drop felt as though someone had shoved an ice cube down my shirt!
So I patted her and told her: “Operation bathe the Dobie is aborted.” =)
The weekend was good, starting from Friday night. It was a zone meeting at Jurong West, and Pst Derek was preaching. It’s been ages since I last drove down to Jurong church. First time in my Blooie. The last time was in a rented car. I was late already lor and after making that irritating U-turn, i found out the church car park was closed...=S...*growl*...why have a car park when you ain’t going to open it!
So yes, I had to do a detour of sorts, and I dunno why but I was so compliant to all traffic rules, I kept driving and looking till I found a proper U-turn – a good 1 to 2 km from church!
As I drove up the multi-storey carpark opposite church, I remembered the first time I drove my rented car to park there, I took 20 mins to reverse park and I scratched the back door against the wall. My first scrape and last on a rented car! LOL...there went my $100 deposit man...hahaha
Late already and I reached with a few other latecomers, and pastor was at point 3 of 6. When he finished at 10, we all had a short break. We were going to have overnight prayer meeting till 3am lor...but I only stayed till 12am. (i.e. the first break), before saying goodbye to the resilient 3 who remained and scuttled off with the rest.
Anna had to work on Saturday, else i’d think she’d stay. Anyway, good ol’, always never eat dinner before cg/service, Jeano declared she was going to eat!..hahaha...my ‘scuttle crew’ was delighted. So since all of them live ard the toa payoh area, we settled for Mac’s there.
I only reached home at 2am. =) thank god never run into any police roadblock...always kenna one lor...not that I do anything wrong, but it’s leh chey and they look at you like you’re some POTENTIAL criminal! Anyway, being Friday night, I zonked late as usual.
And woke up EARLIER than usual on Saturday...ok ok...when you hear the time, you’re going to whack me, but this is really an earlier time than normal, due to my morning sleep being intermittent. I woke at 1.30pm! *big wide grin*
After cooking lunch, I settled down in front of my comp to surf, only to stumble upon some update on my first Nintendo game that I conquered! – Super Mario Bros! Hahaha...seems like Wii just launched the latest in June 2009. =) I started reliving pictures and game settings from various sites....
I also started doing insane things like walk around my home saying: “goomba....Gooomba....GOOOMBA!!!” and changed my msn and wallpaper to a cute pic of the Goomba!
Hahaha...the Little Goomba is a baddie in Super Mario Bros, he has such a ‘duh’ name it’s fun!
My sister who was in her room trying to read her book was not amused....because, I soon had her humming the Super Mario tune too...hehehehe...i’m so infectious!
Evening time, mum and me were off to Gong Gong’s for a beeday dinner. It was my cousin’s son’s beeday. He’s 3! Goodness...I’m not good on such family things, but you do what you gotta do lah....Thank God no one asked where my sis was. Humph...So it was a feast of KFC, pizza, and chilli crab with lotsa man tous! Hehehe...We all had to fulfil our quota we had ordered by sms earlier in the week. Am proud to say – I know my stomach well! Hahaha...
At the dinner, I ended up surrounded by the elderly folk! Coz there was no more room at the young table (so we call it)...ok lah, in my situation, there’s no better table one. So I took my plate and tried to blend into the rosewood furniture.
After dinner, it was strange to sit around with my cousins; all surrounded by their wives or girl friends! =S it’s funny how you can take a step back and observe..hehehe...the quiet and submissive wife, the girlfriend who knows I can tahan wise cracks, the other girlfriend who understandably clings on to the boyfriend coz she is still not that familiar with the whole crowd...hahaha...
I came home and continued with this Anime I started just before leaving for dinner! It’s like a nostalgic weekend for me, first super Mario, then I recalled this anime I liked alot back in 1999! But they never released all the episodes on VCD in Singapore or something. It’s called Fruits Basket.
I was hoping by now, someone would’ve posted them all up on youtube and I was right! In fact, it was all dubbed into English already...hehehe...even better.
I watched NON STOP...up till 6am on Sunday morning! Now now...before you chide me...I was awake not because of the show, but coz I was having bad diarehea the whole night...sigh...and coz of the bad tummy, I missed out on service.
I eventually finished all 26 episodes by Sunday night (with many interruptions in between.) Still I was happy I got to watch all of it. Like what I told Sharon over msn, the main character is too good to be true. BUT, she in essence, reminded me of the basics of life struggles, that it takes effort to understand everyone, never assume, to being accepted for who you are, to work hard, to appreciate what you have today, to find something in yourself to love, to comfort those who are in pain, to believe in others... and that love will always involve a sacrifice of sorts...daily...even though the entire series is largely surrounding a supernatural theme.
Every episode made me laugh and cry very hard. =) It’s a good cartoon for youth I think, coz it addresses many issues faced by each character, from the insanities of high school puppy love to serious heartbreaking recounts of parental rejection and daily abuse from birth.
It had no happy nor sad ending. Just as it is, no miracles, but with perseverence, love, faith and the belief that the fight is never not worth the while. Fact of life. =)
Thursday, 20 August 2009
weird week
I can't believe that it's already coming to the end of thursday. It's been an odd week of happenings since saturday, and all the circumstances were leaving my emotions to run up and down.
Saturday-- a last minute arrangement but i was free -- the main purpose was to go get a bday present. But I had to stop by the flower wholesalers in Thomson so that my friend could pick up ...er...flowers..haha..to do bouquets lah. Anyway, ti was the first time I was there and I had a nice time.So interedting and there was no crowd and i was having fun sniffing away! hehe..i was like a bee...drifting from stalk to stalk...*sniff sniff*
Ended up in Vivo and walked round in circles for 3 hours analysing the possible gifts, budgets and "what design would suit the person/ the person would like ah?"...sigh...after all that effort, it boiled back down to my first idea, as i was driving to vivo..that was a hassle free purchase -- movie card. =) Ah well, at least my idea worked out hor...heh.
Now sunday...sigh...sunday...Sunday from the time of 1 to 3pm was like a boiler for me. In as much as it was true. I really couldn't tahan the person's behavior. I know. She's young. But I dont' think i can tahan such childishness anymore... i know it can't be compared..but when i was that age, I dont' cry at such a pre-mature point of the day! Sigh...one of the memebrs thought we'd forgotten her birthday. Please lah...it's only 1pm..can give some time for prep work or not. Worse, cry in public...=( Then we all kenna glared at by everyone at the restaurant for bullying a small girl. (the other half of the group was getting the gift together)
My food came...in fact everyone's food came...but mine was ice cream and chips...and I had lost my appetite.
Sigh...I quite had it. But i took a deep breath, walked up to her and said...come let's go toilet, talk and wash up k? She shook her head, didnt' respond to any questions, sulked and just stabbed at her food.
That was it...I went back to my seat. Pretended that the rest of the world wasn't staring. And started on my topless 5 ice cream that had turned into a milkshake of 5 colours...grrrr...
the guy seated next to her was the worse! Guy mah...dunno how to handle crying girls..lol
This actually got me thinking about a transfer. But I realised. Adults can be like this too. Worse, they keep it inside until it festers. Or plot some form of revenge or cruelty to make you regret it. True mah...we're more schemeing and all that control of emo to be mature about it, has it's cons if not done correctly. =)
Haiz...After sunday's episode, I wish I can heck about being mature and grown up and throw tantrums over things that would mean "the-end-of-the-world!!!"
Monday night, I had quite a serious talk with a friend about medical stuff and future concerns. Although I think i managed to entertain and make her laugh with some silly jokes..hahaha..=)
Tuesday, was the weirdest day. The same person that made me laugh till I teared so hard earlier in the day made me sad till I teared toos!!! Summary... me had an outburst with ge. And i was the one who nailed it. =( but thank god we settled it lah. It was a combination of a late work day, circumstances and really really bad timing.
But you know she really made me laugh so hard earlier. I haven't laughed so hard and long in such a long time! I actually lacked oxygen so much so that even after putting down the phone, a headache started to develope. hehehehe....=D
Later that night, I was seething a little coz of an msn chat I was having on a real subject matter of going out with married men ...and they have kids too. Grrr...I hate such things. So...if i ever forget myself and am stupidly in that situation, please remind me what a real F***** person I am and a few other explitives, along the line of I-don't-deserve-to-live.
Wednesday evening was another beeday celebration, coz the beeday girl didn't come on sunday...Yes, the movie card one. At first, i had a hard time finding the place. Sms said: City hall, new york new york...alamak...ok, my fault also lah..but i was walking round and round Raffles city trying to find a NYNY that I thought due to my lack of knowledge had a new outlet there lor....
Aiyo...turns out, they were at City Link mall, new york new york...=S
hahaha...bright side, i exercised before eating! And thank God i did...really alot of food! I spent most of the talk time discussing engineering ideas. LOL! Now now...don't go rolling your eyes...in such a situation this is considered-- Entertainment at it's best! =P
So that brings us to today. With a new emotional experience unlike the other events earlier in the week. It's hard to decribe, but it had alot to do with patience and tolerance, and keeping awake with lame jokes. I was at a meeting, that was not supposed to be ....hmmm...that challenging. And the person couldnt' take the hint that EVERYONE else wanted to end the meeting. For 2 and a half hours! I tried every hint method i knew to end the meeting. Except for shaking the person's hand and saying goodbye (coz that's not a hint would it?..hahaha...)
=)
Aiyah, i know i'm recounting crappy things...and the emo see-saw that goes with it. But am ok lah...I think lah...
Just a weird week...i wonder what tomorrow would bring. =X
Saturday-- a last minute arrangement but i was free -- the main purpose was to go get a bday present. But I had to stop by the flower wholesalers in Thomson so that my friend could pick up ...er...flowers..haha..to do bouquets lah. Anyway, ti was the first time I was there and I had a nice time.So interedting and there was no crowd and i was having fun sniffing away! hehe..i was like a bee...drifting from stalk to stalk...*sniff sniff*
Ended up in Vivo and walked round in circles for 3 hours analysing the possible gifts, budgets and "what design would suit the person/ the person would like ah?"...sigh...after all that effort, it boiled back down to my first idea, as i was driving to vivo..that was a hassle free purchase -- movie card. =) Ah well, at least my idea worked out hor...heh.
Now sunday...sigh...sunday...Sunday from the time of 1 to 3pm was like a boiler for me. In as much as it was true. I really couldn't tahan the person's behavior. I know. She's young. But I dont' think i can tahan such childishness anymore... i know it can't be compared..but when i was that age, I dont' cry at such a pre-mature point of the day! Sigh...one of the memebrs thought we'd forgotten her birthday. Please lah...it's only 1pm..can give some time for prep work or not. Worse, cry in public...=( Then we all kenna glared at by everyone at the restaurant for bullying a small girl. (the other half of the group was getting the gift together)
My food came...in fact everyone's food came...but mine was ice cream and chips...and I had lost my appetite.
Sigh...I quite had it. But i took a deep breath, walked up to her and said...come let's go toilet, talk and wash up k? She shook her head, didnt' respond to any questions, sulked and just stabbed at her food.
That was it...I went back to my seat. Pretended that the rest of the world wasn't staring. And started on my topless 5 ice cream that had turned into a milkshake of 5 colours...grrrr...
the guy seated next to her was the worse! Guy mah...dunno how to handle crying girls..lol
This actually got me thinking about a transfer. But I realised. Adults can be like this too. Worse, they keep it inside until it festers. Or plot some form of revenge or cruelty to make you regret it. True mah...we're more schemeing and all that control of emo to be mature about it, has it's cons if not done correctly. =)
Haiz...After sunday's episode, I wish I can heck about being mature and grown up and throw tantrums over things that would mean "the-end-of-the-world!!!"
Monday night, I had quite a serious talk with a friend about medical stuff and future concerns. Although I think i managed to entertain and make her laugh with some silly jokes..hahaha..=)
Tuesday, was the weirdest day. The same person that made me laugh till I teared so hard earlier in the day made me sad till I teared toos!!! Summary... me had an outburst with ge. And i was the one who nailed it. =( but thank god we settled it lah. It was a combination of a late work day, circumstances and really really bad timing.
But you know she really made me laugh so hard earlier. I haven't laughed so hard and long in such a long time! I actually lacked oxygen so much so that even after putting down the phone, a headache started to develope. hehehehe....=D
Later that night, I was seething a little coz of an msn chat I was having on a real subject matter of going out with married men ...and they have kids too. Grrr...I hate such things. So...if i ever forget myself and am stupidly in that situation, please remind me what a real F***** person I am and a few other explitives, along the line of I-don't-deserve-to-live.
Wednesday evening was another beeday celebration, coz the beeday girl didn't come on sunday...Yes, the movie card one. At first, i had a hard time finding the place. Sms said: City hall, new york new york...alamak...ok, my fault also lah..but i was walking round and round Raffles city trying to find a NYNY that I thought due to my lack of knowledge had a new outlet there lor....
Aiyo...turns out, they were at City Link mall, new york new york...=S
hahaha...bright side, i exercised before eating! And thank God i did...really alot of food! I spent most of the talk time discussing engineering ideas. LOL! Now now...don't go rolling your eyes...in such a situation this is considered-- Entertainment at it's best! =P
So that brings us to today. With a new emotional experience unlike the other events earlier in the week. It's hard to decribe, but it had alot to do with patience and tolerance, and keeping awake with lame jokes. I was at a meeting, that was not supposed to be ....hmmm...that challenging. And the person couldnt' take the hint that EVERYONE else wanted to end the meeting. For 2 and a half hours! I tried every hint method i knew to end the meeting. Except for shaking the person's hand and saying goodbye (coz that's not a hint would it?..hahaha...)
=)
Aiyah, i know i'm recounting crappy things...and the emo see-saw that goes with it. But am ok lah...I think lah...
Just a weird week...i wonder what tomorrow would bring. =X
Wednesday, 19 August 2009
But God...
Exerpt from Pst Phil's article in the magazine. I can just picture him saying every word with awe and conviction!! Hahaha...medicine has been tasted before. But open wide, another booster dose cometh!
~~~
When problems get big, God can seem small. When things go bad, we often wonder why God let them happen. Bad things sometimes just happen in life. BUT GOD is able to reverse them and bring good out of bad.
When our problems seem impossible, panic and torment us. We can forget that God can do the impossible.
Jeremiah 2:32 says: "My people forget me" (MSG)
When problems hijack your faith, it's easy to believe they are more powerful than your God.
When you come to the end of yourself and have nothing left, you might think: "God has forgetten me and has left me."
The sheer weight of a problem can overwhelm our faith. If we focus on the problem anxiety and fear come, and faith disappears. But if we make the right choices, we make the opposite take place. We collapse our problems with faith.
Faith is a feeling. It's a minsdet, a spiritual emotion. That feeling changes our personal world and when we hold on to that feeling, refusing to lose it, we position ourselves in the world of miracles.
Nehemiah 4:14 says "Don't be afraid of the enemy! REMEMBER the Lord who is great and glorious and fight for your friends, your families and your homes! (NLT with emphasis)
We lose faith when whe focus on the problem rather than God. What are you think about? -- God's answers and promises , or the problems itself?
Negative situations shout for our attention ,but we choose to think on the answers rather than on the problems. It's a decision we make --- the decision to have faith in God and to believe that the problem will work out.
"Haeve Faith in God!"- Mark 11;22
The time to remember God is not when it's easy but when it's hard and we're facing and impossible problem.
"Thanks be to God, which always causeth us to triumph." 2 Cor 2:14 KJV.
~~~
When problems get big, God can seem small. When things go bad, we often wonder why God let them happen. Bad things sometimes just happen in life. BUT GOD is able to reverse them and bring good out of bad.
When our problems seem impossible, panic and torment us. We can forget that God can do the impossible.
Jeremiah 2:32 says: "My people forget me" (MSG)
When problems hijack your faith, it's easy to believe they are more powerful than your God.
When you come to the end of yourself and have nothing left, you might think: "God has forgetten me and has left me."
The sheer weight of a problem can overwhelm our faith. If we focus on the problem anxiety and fear come, and faith disappears. But if we make the right choices, we make the opposite take place. We collapse our problems with faith.
Faith is a feeling. It's a minsdet, a spiritual emotion. That feeling changes our personal world and when we hold on to that feeling, refusing to lose it, we position ourselves in the world of miracles.
Nehemiah 4:14 says "Don't be afraid of the enemy! REMEMBER the Lord who is great and glorious and fight for your friends, your families and your homes! (NLT with emphasis)
We lose faith when whe focus on the problem rather than God. What are you think about? -- God's answers and promises , or the problems itself?
Negative situations shout for our attention ,but we choose to think on the answers rather than on the problems. It's a decision we make --- the decision to have faith in God and to believe that the problem will work out.
"Haeve Faith in God!"- Mark 11;22
The time to remember God is not when it's easy but when it's hard and we're facing and impossible problem.
"Thanks be to God, which always causeth us to triumph." 2 Cor 2:14 KJV.
Sunday, 16 August 2009
Saturday, 15 August 2009
=)
It's been a short week but it feels really long. Not that i'm super tired, but I guess, it's the way things sum up at this stage of work and life. =)
It's almost 2am, and I'm loading up an episode of bones to watch online and my mind starts thinking about things that have been passing through my mind and some of the struggles I face. I thought about God in the lift today. Hah...funny location, and my lift only travels 4 levels. but it felt long enough. There was an element of disbelief that things are working out this way. Is it possible? It left me momentarily concerned that such a thought could go through my mind.
Thinking back about that moment, i'm actually amused. And this amusement is actually a relief! ironic ain't it?
I'm amused because the 'disbelief' i felt still showed that I DO actually believe in some fundamentals. Hahaha...means He's still not far from me...
And now as I waited for the video to load, I remembered how to look at such challenges. Trials. They come in all forms and methods, and ways. It's easy to forget how easily it can be disguised. Not that extra effort was taken to disguise it. But that we're not given a different perspective. =)
Ah well, things may not be so bad after all. A different perspective. A new level of faith? -- Maybe.
though I feel far from it now...hahaha...
I had sometime today...like always, to muck around the office abit to relax. I went to ge's room, took her cushion and walked around the office, hugging it..hahaha....=) I had just heard from boss that she could be extending her trip. =) I knew she'd been trying to do it...so was happy she managed to do so...=D
Conflicting feelings in it's basic form --> me wished she was around, but me want her to be in melbourne too!!!! God...can make two? hehehe...LOL! Hmmm....no no...*shake head*...I take that back...one is the best. =) There can only be one...=)
Revelation....One is precious only if there is one... =) true mah..hee...
Hearing how happy she is there, I could only want for her to extend her stay. I told boss I support her extension! hahaha...he looked surprised.. heh...
Anyway, in the end she can't due to costs...haiz...ah well.. let's all look miserable together --> =(
Ok, feels relieveing it's a friday night...and my bones episode is loaded...time to go watch!
It's almost 2am, and I'm loading up an episode of bones to watch online and my mind starts thinking about things that have been passing through my mind and some of the struggles I face. I thought about God in the lift today. Hah...funny location, and my lift only travels 4 levels. but it felt long enough. There was an element of disbelief that things are working out this way. Is it possible? It left me momentarily concerned that such a thought could go through my mind.
Thinking back about that moment, i'm actually amused. And this amusement is actually a relief! ironic ain't it?
I'm amused because the 'disbelief' i felt still showed that I DO actually believe in some fundamentals. Hahaha...means He's still not far from me...
And now as I waited for the video to load, I remembered how to look at such challenges. Trials. They come in all forms and methods, and ways. It's easy to forget how easily it can be disguised. Not that extra effort was taken to disguise it. But that we're not given a different perspective. =)
Ah well, things may not be so bad after all. A different perspective. A new level of faith? -- Maybe.
though I feel far from it now...hahaha...
I had sometime today...like always, to muck around the office abit to relax. I went to ge's room, took her cushion and walked around the office, hugging it..hahaha....=) I had just heard from boss that she could be extending her trip. =) I knew she'd been trying to do it...so was happy she managed to do so...=D
Conflicting feelings in it's basic form --> me wished she was around, but me want her to be in melbourne too!!!! God...can make two? hehehe...LOL! Hmmm....no no...*shake head*...I take that back...one is the best. =) There can only be one...=)
Revelation....One is precious only if there is one... =) true mah..hee...
Hearing how happy she is there, I could only want for her to extend her stay. I told boss I support her extension! hahaha...he looked surprised.. heh...
Anyway, in the end she can't due to costs...haiz...ah well.. let's all look miserable together --> =(
Ok, feels relieveing it's a friday night...and my bones episode is loaded...time to go watch!
Wednesday, 12 August 2009
heh...this is so cute!
It's been such a long and tiring day today, public holidays in SG are horrible (it doesn't reduce the work load, it just reduces the time you have to do them!)
...but this pic makes me laugh, coz i wanna play tooz...=P
Ge sent the pic to me from melb! i thought she drew the faces. Turns out it's printed!
So cute hor!! Imagine opening a box with them smiling up at you! hahaha...
She said next time they have speech bubble that says "Dun eat me!"...i told her cannot lah, no business liao..people wun eat the eggs! they should have a dotted line round the tummy that says "break here!"
Hee...so cute..=)
...but this pic makes me laugh, coz i wanna play tooz...=P
Ge sent the pic to me from melb! i thought she drew the faces. Turns out it's printed!So cute hor!! Imagine opening a box with them smiling up at you! hahaha...
She said next time they have speech bubble that says "Dun eat me!"...i told her cannot lah, no business liao..people wun eat the eggs! they should have a dotted line round the tummy that says "break here!"
Hee...so cute..=)
Monday, 10 August 2009
Work starts again tomorrow! =(
Eeeps...it's only 12 hours away! Oh well, at least the long weekend was nice. =)
Went to the expo book sale today. Shoved mum into the metro sale becasue she wanted to buy luggage (and i didnt want to go to town area).
this Borders book sale is the worst one in the history of Expo book sales. What were they thinkings. 70% non-fiction, that was the oddest combi of non-fiction books I've seen. Even the travel books were almost non-existent!
As for fiction books, They only had about 3-4 tables of them. Mostly hardcover or large sizes, and up to 30% off only. Means you're still paying at least $18 to $20 for the book! =S
The book section took up a third of the already halved hall, the rest being stationery and some software stall. Thank God I didn't make a purposeful trip for it!
The only thing I was very tempted to buy was a drum learnining kit, with book, DVD, drumsticks and a practice pad. I was even considering the harmonica one..but i have to remember where my 3 harmonicas at home are!! Coz that day I was just thinking about me playing it when I was young and how dad was good at it. A small musical instrument that could play great songs with variation. It would be easy to carry anywhere not like most other clumsy instruments...hee..
ya ya....and i'd be the entertainment should i ever be detaiend somewhere..LOL.. ya know those cheesy movies where the prisoners play the harmonica? hahaha...
Oh well, in the end i didn't for several reasons lah.the difficulty about such things is its not a one size fits all. It didn't seem that suitable anyway, after rading the book in detail...so..=) as if to confirm this thought, mum called and said she was ready to go. =)
yay! dinner time! bye!
Went to the expo book sale today. Shoved mum into the metro sale becasue she wanted to buy luggage (and i didnt want to go to town area).
this Borders book sale is the worst one in the history of Expo book sales. What were they thinkings. 70% non-fiction, that was the oddest combi of non-fiction books I've seen. Even the travel books were almost non-existent!
As for fiction books, They only had about 3-4 tables of them. Mostly hardcover or large sizes, and up to 30% off only. Means you're still paying at least $18 to $20 for the book! =S
The book section took up a third of the already halved hall, the rest being stationery and some software stall. Thank God I didn't make a purposeful trip for it!
The only thing I was very tempted to buy was a drum learnining kit, with book, DVD, drumsticks and a practice pad. I was even considering the harmonica one..but i have to remember where my 3 harmonicas at home are!! Coz that day I was just thinking about me playing it when I was young and how dad was good at it. A small musical instrument that could play great songs with variation. It would be easy to carry anywhere not like most other clumsy instruments...hee..
ya ya....and i'd be the entertainment should i ever be detaiend somewhere..LOL.. ya know those cheesy movies where the prisoners play the harmonica? hahaha...
Oh well, in the end i didn't for several reasons lah.the difficulty about such things is its not a one size fits all. It didn't seem that suitable anyway, after rading the book in detail...so..=) as if to confirm this thought, mum called and said she was ready to go. =)
yay! dinner time! bye!
Sunday, 9 August 2009
Happy Beeday SG!
=) I didn't take advantage of the petrol offers at shell. However, i took advantage of the fact that in the evening there are less people around, so made a quick trip to tampines mall to buy some stuff...it's quite empty man. At 7 plus pm leh. LOL! I even have to say that a weekday afternoon is more crowded lor!
Anyway, went to buy some medical applications to combat fleas at my home. Yeah, been plagued by them the past two years since Whiskey joined the family. Haiz...only last week did my sister and i decide to make a concerted effort and invest in the $$$ to eliminate them. (Previous times, we went by other non medicated methods.)
But it's a losting battle hence the decision. Why a concerted effort? All dogs have to start at abotu the same time. Plus coordinate their bathing days. In addition, all sleep corners need to be regualarly sterilised with alternate medication and all dogs cannot have sleeping cushions/ towels for a season (as they breed in those places too)
The meds cost a bomb too. I just blew $100 on red for a flimsy box with 6 appliciations inside. =(
I just hope it works for her lah. She'll be a happier dog after that. Less scratching...and she will sleep better. =)
Boss just sms me this evening about adopting a Golden retriever. Was a bit shocked he called me by my nickname on the sms! Weird..hahahaha...I thot he only called ge by nick. =P Anyway, i've kinda talked to him about the dog, and think he should be ok to adopt the dog. (some stupid guy go buy a golden retriver for his HDB flat, and now given 5 days notice to remove the dog or HDB removes him.)if you want a big dog, and as much as I support dog lovers, please think carefully about big dogs in HDB. The equally stupid govt has no qualms about eliminating you or your dog.
And unless the dog was abused by the last owner, when it's taken into the new home. He/she will be sad and will cry. Whiskey went through that. He at first thought it was just a short outing. Till the late night set in...he cried for 2-3 nights.
humph, and Red...i discovered yesterday she loves durians! my mum lor, made an observation that when we eat durians she doesn't beg. so i said maybe the smell turns her off. i gave red a small bit, and after that, she had her eyes transfixed on the thorny fruit I was cutting up! oh oh...jialat...hahaha..shouldn't have intro-ed her to it!
She also scratched me today. I sat on the floor to play with her lah. And once i'm on the floor she's taller than me. so she was so excited she clamoured all over me, like I'm some cushion. She was trying to fit in my lap lor! Silly dog, she really forgets her size..hahahha...and her long nails ripped skin off my legs! I was shrieking away!!..LOL!
Oookie, time to go back to watching movies online! hee! =P Horror show!
Anyway, went to buy some medical applications to combat fleas at my home. Yeah, been plagued by them the past two years since Whiskey joined the family. Haiz...only last week did my sister and i decide to make a concerted effort and invest in the $$$ to eliminate them. (Previous times, we went by other non medicated methods.)
But it's a losting battle hence the decision. Why a concerted effort? All dogs have to start at abotu the same time. Plus coordinate their bathing days. In addition, all sleep corners need to be regualarly sterilised with alternate medication and all dogs cannot have sleeping cushions/ towels for a season (as they breed in those places too)
The meds cost a bomb too. I just blew $100 on red for a flimsy box with 6 appliciations inside. =(
I just hope it works for her lah. She'll be a happier dog after that. Less scratching...and she will sleep better. =)
Boss just sms me this evening about adopting a Golden retriever. Was a bit shocked he called me by my nickname on the sms! Weird..hahahaha...I thot he only called ge by nick. =P Anyway, i've kinda talked to him about the dog, and think he should be ok to adopt the dog. (some stupid guy go buy a golden retriver for his HDB flat, and now given 5 days notice to remove the dog or HDB removes him.)if you want a big dog, and as much as I support dog lovers, please think carefully about big dogs in HDB. The equally stupid govt has no qualms about eliminating you or your dog.
And unless the dog was abused by the last owner, when it's taken into the new home. He/she will be sad and will cry. Whiskey went through that. He at first thought it was just a short outing. Till the late night set in...he cried for 2-3 nights.
humph, and Red...i discovered yesterday she loves durians! my mum lor, made an observation that when we eat durians she doesn't beg. so i said maybe the smell turns her off. i gave red a small bit, and after that, she had her eyes transfixed on the thorny fruit I was cutting up! oh oh...jialat...hahaha..shouldn't have intro-ed her to it!
She also scratched me today. I sat on the floor to play with her lah. And once i'm on the floor she's taller than me. so she was so excited she clamoured all over me, like I'm some cushion. She was trying to fit in my lap lor! Silly dog, she really forgets her size..hahahha...and her long nails ripped skin off my legs! I was shrieking away!!..LOL!
Oookie, time to go back to watching movies online! hee! =P Horror show!
Thursday, 6 August 2009
a bit of me...
I went to see Ge off at the airport a couple of hours ago. Flight was at 2335h, SQ237 from T3. =)
It was a hard few hours for her but she's really such a dear friend with a soft heart..=)...She's going melbourne for a holiday and break with her sisters. =) She deserves it lah...and today at work, I was happy she'll be gone! Even though just the day before I was =S about it.
Almost ='( at the airport just now lor...am a softie lah..*rolls eyes at self*
Hahahaha...
I made a card for her...LOL..I learned the name for it from her. It's called a 'plane letter' -- can only read on the plane..haha..=) Come to think of it, this would be my FIRST personal 'plane-letter' to someone!! Wah...serious ah..ya man...*brain gears churning* -- It is!!
( My first ever 'plane letter' would be before this one. But it was a shared one that I wrote -- OMG -- over 4 years ago!)
It was simple card, though it took me some time to do. (Squeezed it at the end of the workday today.)
But on the drive home, it made me think about all the cards that I've done in my life for friends, the cellgrp and then Pst Lillian. =) I liked them so much I couldnt' bear to give them away.. only towards the last few that I made, did I think to take pictures of them. =) It always took hours to do...the longest was one was in four blocks of 4-5 hours over 2 days. (Yes, during my post-uni and pre-work days.)
I guess, I always felt I gave away a part of my life as a gift to them (of course, I hope they will keep it too lah...so i make them as 'keep-able' as possible, although for those of you who know, some of my cards are extremely 3-D!!!) ..LOL!
One thing I know for sure. I'd never been angry or unhappy for a single minute while making all of them. Yes, i may have been frustrated. But it would frustration over uncooperative software/ material, glue, wires, etc. -- the process lah...but never was it ever a task. =)
I haven't done any major ones (today's plane letter is probably the last real effort one that I did, at least two years liao?) because of work...which really takes away energy...and i find it hard to commit the 'blocks' of time (because I get into the mode and refuse to sleep.) Plus, buying materials and inspiration usually has to be 'shopped' during work days.
I've made a handful during my work years. But I know that most of them, I'm not totally pleased by them, because I know if I had the time and the bandwidth, it would be one that totally rocks! =D That's why it's harder for me to bring myself to make them now...LOL...the creator heart pain when product is *bleah*...hahaha...dunno if you know what I mean bah.
But I Thank God for the joy it all brought me all these years. =)
Of course, i still do my other small crazy things here and there. Packaging gifts in !?!?!? ways...making stuff. =)
It's fun lah. =) Hmmm...I should put some of the photos up hor...for memories sake!
Will doooo!!! hee...
It was a hard few hours for her but she's really such a dear friend with a soft heart..=)...She's going melbourne for a holiday and break with her sisters. =) She deserves it lah...and today at work, I was happy she'll be gone! Even though just the day before I was =S about it.
Almost ='( at the airport just now lor...am a softie lah..*rolls eyes at self*
Hahahaha...
I made a card for her...LOL..I learned the name for it from her. It's called a 'plane letter' -- can only read on the plane..haha..=) Come to think of it, this would be my FIRST personal 'plane-letter' to someone!! Wah...serious ah..ya man...*brain gears churning* -- It is!!
( My first ever 'plane letter' would be before this one. But it was a shared one that I wrote -- OMG -- over 4 years ago!)
It was simple card, though it took me some time to do. (Squeezed it at the end of the workday today.)
But on the drive home, it made me think about all the cards that I've done in my life for friends, the cellgrp and then Pst Lillian. =) I liked them so much I couldnt' bear to give them away.. only towards the last few that I made, did I think to take pictures of them. =) It always took hours to do...the longest was one was in four blocks of 4-5 hours over 2 days. (Yes, during my post-uni and pre-work days.)
I guess, I always felt I gave away a part of my life as a gift to them (of course, I hope they will keep it too lah...so i make them as 'keep-able' as possible, although for those of you who know, some of my cards are extremely 3-D!!!) ..LOL!
One thing I know for sure. I'd never been angry or unhappy for a single minute while making all of them. Yes, i may have been frustrated. But it would frustration over uncooperative software/ material, glue, wires, etc. -- the process lah...but never was it ever a task. =)
I haven't done any major ones (today's plane letter is probably the last real effort one that I did, at least two years liao?) because of work...which really takes away energy...and i find it hard to commit the 'blocks' of time (because I get into the mode and refuse to sleep.) Plus, buying materials and inspiration usually has to be 'shopped' during work days.
I've made a handful during my work years. But I know that most of them, I'm not totally pleased by them, because I know if I had the time and the bandwidth, it would be one that totally rocks! =D That's why it's harder for me to bring myself to make them now...LOL...the creator heart pain when product is *bleah*...hahaha...dunno if you know what I mean bah.
But I Thank God for the joy it all brought me all these years. =)
Of course, i still do my other small crazy things here and there. Packaging gifts in !?!?!? ways...making stuff. =)
It's fun lah. =) Hmmm...I should put some of the photos up hor...for memories sake!
Will doooo!!! hee...
Wednesday, 5 August 2009
It just creeps up from all directions....
Just when thought something are over and you don't have to use mental bookmarks to 'remember to do'...
When i just managed to get my hp that has been in the repair shop for over a week,..another one just crept up on me!
Haiz..i forgot to pay my credit card bill. 3 days overdue. Same reason why i didn't 'pursue' on the hp repair status. (1) Audit and (2) I can say FOP...but i think a large part is still attributed to the audit. Because all through the weekend, I was dreaming of numbers and how they got there..weekdays was spent refraining from stranggling auditors.
I actually thought of paying it earlier. But as usual lah, think have time. The turnaround from end july to early August just happened way too fast. And i missed the 3 August Deadline..crap lah.
So...one more thing to do lor. Have to call them and tell them to waiver the $45. Daylight robbery.
You know all the small things that creep up on you that you have to do?
- Pay bills
- Give Tithe
- transfer monthly chunks of $$ to various accounts
Ok, i hear some saying, auto deduct/ giro, make it a regualr habit...but it's the irrgular ones that stink. e.g Fines, Road tax udpates, cancelling that useless thing that is just draining you one way or another,... especially the things that you need to pursue during office hours! Haiz! you know the kind where you are left listening to some background music for minutes and hours, with the occasional 'Your call is important to us.'
i'll never forget this stupid incident. Can't foget who or what i was calling about. But it went on and on, so i waited (on speaker phone lah!)...music, call was important, more music, our operators are busy at the moment, more music, more advertisements...more products you can sign up for...
AND FINALLY...the voice went, our lines are busy at the moment. Please try again later. Goodbye.*click*
What the !&^*@#%@*#&(@()#*...
IDIOTS.......
*deep breath*
Sorry, got carried away.But don't you agree?!! Hahahaha...=)
If you know perfectly how I feel and what I mean, congratulations -- you are a working adult. LOL!
When i just managed to get my hp that has been in the repair shop for over a week,..another one just crept up on me!
Haiz..i forgot to pay my credit card bill. 3 days overdue. Same reason why i didn't 'pursue' on the hp repair status. (1) Audit and (2) I can say FOP...but i think a large part is still attributed to the audit. Because all through the weekend, I was dreaming of numbers and how they got there..weekdays was spent refraining from stranggling auditors.
I actually thought of paying it earlier. But as usual lah, think have time. The turnaround from end july to early August just happened way too fast. And i missed the 3 August Deadline..crap lah.
So...one more thing to do lor. Have to call them and tell them to waiver the $45. Daylight robbery.
You know all the small things that creep up on you that you have to do?
- Pay bills
- Give Tithe
- transfer monthly chunks of $$ to various accounts
Ok, i hear some saying, auto deduct/ giro, make it a regualr habit...but it's the irrgular ones that stink. e.g Fines, Road tax udpates, cancelling that useless thing that is just draining you one way or another,... especially the things that you need to pursue during office hours! Haiz! you know the kind where you are left listening to some background music for minutes and hours, with the occasional 'Your call is important to us.'
i'll never forget this stupid incident. Can't foget who or what i was calling about. But it went on and on, so i waited (on speaker phone lah!)...music, call was important, more music, our operators are busy at the moment, more music, more advertisements...more products you can sign up for...
AND FINALLY...the voice went, our lines are busy at the moment. Please try again later. Goodbye.*click*
What the !&^*@#%@*#&(@()#*...
IDIOTS.......
*deep breath*
Sorry, got carried away.But don't you agree?!! Hahahaha...=)
If you know perfectly how I feel and what I mean, congratulations -- you are a working adult. LOL!
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