It's just the beginning....

Someone asked me a queestion yesterday...and the day before..and it dawned on me for the first tiem for as long as I can remember sept no longer means anything to me. even in my most stressed time, i do remember i would at least perk up abit.

but i'm so tired already. I can't do much except to hang on best I can. No point my impeding self destruction having to affect others. we all have our own weights to carry.

Today was a tiring day. I know..i feel as though i've said this somewhere before..haha..maybe I did think about it earlier. Because i felt better over the weekend, I pushed out some stuff by pulling all nighters for 4 nights (for the peace and quiet) and slept in the day. It was worth it as it gave me some sanity for today in terms of issues.

so last night i could only sleep at 4am. and i had to wake extra early at 730am jsut to bring mum to the MRT. good too as I hoped to get to work bit earlier to print the 300 pager ref books for one of my modules and hoepfully start reading.

No chance when I got in, staff filtering in and started to talk to me.

thank God boss bought coffee at 1030am. Morning was still manageable alot of various phonecalls but nothign major. Boss was at it again and I'm sorry for her lah...anyway...Lunch happened. by mid afternoon I was starting to drain. Didn't help that my colleague told me that the ref notes are quiet useless...but i still need to read them. Anyway...no choice but haev to go library on wed nite i think...The ultimate drainer was a phone call that was a sooner or later. then had to tell my boss about it..that doens't help either...soon it was 630...time really flew by...I looked through the day work on teh small bits i could tie up....at 730...i jsut printed the ref books finally.

I left at 815...got home cooked, ate...watched some news...and fell asleep on the floor till 1130...I woke up really groggy...but scuttled to the loo to wash up ...=(

was supposed to do laundry and start on some reading...any reading...to just grasp my module...

1130 got the laundry in the washer and set up my comp. I had more office work i had to clear and there was no time tomorrow with class.

sigh...ended up spenidng so much time having to guide my colleague in his new role+ 'scolding' another. Clear up some here and there so that others could do some work in the morning.

sent boss some stuff...told him i'd give him more tomorrow by afternoon.

soon it's 330....sigh...

Now it's 410...hahaha..i hung my laundry..yay....had to move my day to monday's coz of class.

my foot starting to ache...stupid...

I started reading eh content page of my ref notes...lol...but my foot says no...

Need to pack up teh washer, bathe and sleep..tom got a 10am meeting...



i must be some stupid idiiot really...for what...it's jsut monday...imagine that...

I hate hearing myself complain...well..here i am..makes me an idiot again eh?

I miss writing about happy things...

You know...

You've been typing too long on the laptop when your elbow bones aches like a bruise when you touch it...due to too many hours propped on the table. haahahahhaa...=)

It's funny the kind of things you think about at night. I'm still positive this foot of mine will get better. Just that I need it to heal faster. I'm hoping that everytime I wake up, somehow I'll be well already.

Hard to explain how I feel. I think it's alot of self reproach. It's like you'e been smoking all your life and at some point, you're coughing your lungs out and gasping for air, but you can only look at yourself.

Today footie has reached a puffier than normal state. I hope he'll just listen and let the meds work. Pray this is the last stage.

I got class on tomorrow and haven't done any reading up or revising at all. One would think that since i'm stuck home and bed ridden you'd do more.but pain really makes a difference...hahaha..I'm too optimistic lah, i think if i clsoe my eyes for 5mins..i'd wake up and it'll be all better.

God, thanks for the company. I trust you'll see me through this again. I thank you for the good blessings for today.

Believe.

In continuation...

I thought having responded before 10am this morning was sufficient.

At 11pm today when mum came back from her singing session, she asked me if I was going to work tomorrow (wed), I replied calmly -- it depends on the foot.

At 1am she comes into my room, standing hands akimbo beside me she said in a stern voice: " OK, I need a confirmation right now if you are going to work tomorrow so that I know what time to wake up."

..............

I calmly replied in a quiet tone:" I do not know, so my safest answer is to tell you 'No, I will not be going to work.'..."

She stormed out of the room.

Minutes later she returned and said. "I will be working on Thursday and Friday as well, so seeing your leg like this, there is no point for me to come back, so I'll just stay in Punggol the next few days."

I said ok, no probs.

I'm used to this. You'd think most would try to be around more or something in the given situation. Would you beg? Or plea? to what purpose?

This is the mini version of an example of why whatever choices I make, I must live with the full consequences of it or whatever failure that comes with it. Can't count on family.

Today's twist was unexpected. Didn't expect a declaration. Hats off to mum.

(On another note, i'd like to thank sis for her help today. Clearing up the dishes and driving me and her dog out to buy prata for our dinner. -- of course it was all for the purpose of letting the queen dog go for daily car ride. Ah dui....and carrying up a flask of water to my room.)

There are times...such as this...

...that I really wanna kill my mum...

Already I can't walk as it is. And she asks me tonight, (Mon) if I'll be going to work on Wednesday. How in the world will I know?!

Then she asks me if I'll be going to work tomorrow, tues. I told her, i can only tell in the morning when I wake up and see the condition of my foot.

Hello, if I can potter around tonight already, I will not just stay in the room and remain tortured lor.

So apprently, I must now tell her on tuesday Morning by 10am, if I will be going to work on wednesday. Simply coz she needs to go back to her punggol place and needs to knwo whether to pack in advnace.

My god,..it's jsut one day...can take cab or not.

Wouldn't it make SUPER logical sense that if I can go to work on tuesday morning, I already can give her the super important will-die-if-take-cab ride on wednesday already!?!!!

How in the world will i accurately know by Tues morning BEFORE 10am if I will be well enough to go to work on wednesday?????????? Can i tell by some Crystal ball that at 1500h on tuesday afternoon I will be doing cartwheels at home or something???

It's as though I've volunteered to be in this predicament and I have an apprent 'schedule' I can follow and can confirm.

Makes me feel like crap everytime I can't walk coz daily you make me feel as though I am DELIBERATELY NOT going to work.

Who wants to feel this way???...You think i opted to be handicapped?!

You make me feel more useless with each passing day.

I only wanted to have some fun..='(

...now i can't walk again...

Unforgettable - 2Euro scotch tape.

I was quite tired after reaching the hotel -- Holiday Inn Schonefeld Airport. (I later found out there were only 3 hotels near that airport). and mine was digustingly the furthest from it. (aka. not within walking distance. But 1 min drive.)

After checking in and making sure they can accomodate the auto-check in for the rest of the mission team, it was only about hmmm...11am local time. I was hungry and thirsty. Needed to go out explore how to get around and where to get the basics.

The hotel had a shuttle to the schonofeld airport (which is the hub for the bus terminal and train station)...but it ran at the oddest hours. I had to squint at some silly A4 sized paper and understand the timings with block out dates. I asked the recep if they had a copy of it. ---No! =S

Wah lieu...thank God I smartened up and took a photo of it. Just as well easier to refer to when I'm out and about.

Next since it was a sunday and it's considered an ulu place, I found out that I had to request for the shuttle service out of the hotel. (ie. there's hardly any guest to make it worth the regular trip.) The recep was a little shocked when I enquired. She said:" Oh, you can request for it." Me:"Can I go now?"....lady:"Now?! Ok, let me see..." ..(*scuttles to back room to find the driver*) I was quite afraid of the trip back really. I mean, the driver couldn't speak a word of English, and I was trying to ask him in the bus, how I was going to ensure I managed to get a ride back when I was done. I mean, do I have to wait for the scheduled time according to the sheet of paper or rely on thier ad-hoc ways?

Somehow, I managed to figure out I was supposed to find some signboard (which is the designated drop off/ pick up) and wait for the shuttle...if it's 5mins late from the supposed time of arrival. Call the hotel. (ie. we're not that efficient or come out when we want to.) Ah dui....

hahaha...anyway, pic above shows the 1970s look of the airport. (yes, inside looks like 1970s with the mosiac small square tile flooring and no lifts either.) Still, it was close to summer for them so you can see them all just sprawling on the open field reading, having picnics and chatting, soaking up the sun.

It's a good 400m walk from airport to train station. And I trekked up and down four times just to compare prices of snacks and drinks between the miserable number of shops/ snack counters between them. You can count less than 10. LOL!! At each trek, even tho the walkway was decently crowded, i did a mini detour just to avoid this strange normal looking man, who had this 'very free' look and kept approaching and talking randomly to passer-bys. Scary...

I eventually made my choice of shop and made this shopkeeper so happy! (He looked italian). Prior to my arrival, he was sitting bored outside his shop (with virtually no human traffic) and chatting with a friend. He was nice, asked me why I was in this part of town and surprised by my number of purchases, since he started packing up my choices after only 2 items and keyed it into the cashier, thinking that it was all he'd get for the day. hahaha...

Really helpful and tried to explain to me what the items were. Eis Kaffee --- Ice coffee....Eis tee-- Ice tea...=) Wasser -- water...

I also got my dinner/ late lunch from another shop at the train station. Some kebab sandwich from a middle eastern eatery. (see the aluminium foil behind the biscuits) + a slice of pizza.

I tell you...i was quite worried how my kebab sandwich would turn out lor....since this schonefled area is so ulu, they don't expect tourists, so the whole menu was in german. My God...there was alot of pointing up at a wall (hoping he understood which pic i pointed at since they were not numbered)....then when the owner asked me more questions on choice of meat/ condiments/ stuffing and i retuned him the =S look, you should've seen his face contort to try to find the basic english words for me! hahaha

I wondered the whole time whether i'd find it edible. What was that weird greenish sauce he added? Did he even understand I wanted a take away? I had no clue to what I had agreed/ not agreed to and the final price he was going to charge me.

*sniffles*

Its tiring but in cases like this, you just have to keep a smile, friendly face, stand out of the way of the locals (who just waltz in and ramble an order) and keep alert. Have to make sure you don't offend anyone lor.

Thankfully the man was nice and I believe he gave me alittle more than the usual stuffing, seeing how clueless and hungry I was. =) God is good. =)

So yes, My mini purchase of all the above is a grand total of *drum roll* = 50 euros! which is about S$75...*faints*..I felt very poor straight after...=(

Just 2 packets each of ice tea, milk, water, plain biscuits and a coca cola + dinner!!

Next day, I set off late morning to ILA. It was one day before the show (monday), and it so reminded me of Avalon where there's no transport at all. So I 'requested' (hehehehe)...for my hotel shuttle to the airport, (to save some moolah on distance) then took a cab. Thank God I didn't try to walk. It was a good 8km away.

The cab driver whom I rode with to my hotel the day before just pointed in a general direction and said it wasn't far off. But i didn't trust their version of 'nearby' one lor..hahaha...besides he did not say it was within walking distance.

I spent alot of time moving between the Exhibitor's Centre and Hall 11 (which was where our booth was.) Everytime I had an issue, I had to trudge there. It's like...hmmm...walking between Wheelock and Wisma. Doesn't help me not in comfy boots and it's gravel/ raw road.

Above you see the booth next to us...so on lor the taiwanese. But realised they sold it to two taiwan companies. Still they came in full force, one comepnay having a team of 6 people. =) So fun. They were laughing and chatting away while cutting and pasting their displays. Me felt lonely setting up...

And here's our booth! Yes, they spell the country name wrong lor. Many of the europeans were trying to figure out which languange the mistake was made in. The germans said that it's Singapor in german....so....was it french?, Spanish? =)

I had to get help to put up the posters. Glad I planned well and brought all the materials I needed. Except I had to hunt for the only stationary shop to buy scotch tape. really can faint at the prices! hahaha...The shop was like a container truck run by 3 aunties! Very local...who were clueless about what i meant by scotch tape, or even tape...LOL...

I had to look and point...and when I heard a roll of masking tape costing 6 euros, I asked them if there was anything cheaper. After showing me 2 other versions of tape. I settled for the 2Euro one --which is the small roll, yellowish transparent tape that you can buy for 50 cents back home lor...S$4 for that...yes. it was the cheapest...kekeke...

Basic deocr for the SG booth! took me about 2-3 hours, waiting around for them to send the contractor to help. As with other shows, they always say they'll get it done and hope you'll just go away. I gave up once the lights were up, but country word not changed. It was already 4pm plus, and I may have to wait till the next day lor!

Trekked near the exhibition hall. We were the International Suppliers Centre - Hall 11...and yes, there WERE 10 other halls, scattered throughout. I didnt even walk to Hall 1 to 3 during the show coz it was just too far.

Took photos here and there. See the cars just drive haphazardly around the planes...so liberal, unlike the overdone security at our local show lor...

I found these roles of grass cute. Interesting hor? They are real leh! They used them to 'tile' the indoor cafe of the adjacent hall for the garden look. =)

SG flag!! hee...all the foreign countries taking part in the ISC!

The standard photo of "here I am!"....I realised this is the only pic of me I took in the show ground (...that terrible lor! LOL!)

Weather was warm. Went back to the hotel to shower and put down stuff, before heading out to Berlin center to explore. Solo travel so must be wise in what i'm carrying. Especially since it's long train trips in the outskirts. Once again, ulu train station, so no helpful signs/ people. So took me one hour to figure out how to buy the right ticket and get on the right train.

Thankfully, the day's were long in Germany at this time. Sunset was at 1030pm. So even at 530pm, it was still like 2pm! Can stay out longer!
Above station is Ostkruez is was like the interchange from schonefeld line to the berlin center. Thank God again, that ge and I figured out how german train lines work. So i read the map alot faster and knew which was the right one to board. Heeee....

This station was surrounded by constuction and looked very make shift. Very dark at night, which you'll see in my return trip pics.

While waiting to transfer at the station, this hostel opposite was called "1st floor hostel"...hmmm...so what's on 2nd floor ah? =P ....notice how skinny the building is tooo!!!

TXL =)

(Dear all, sorry it took me a long while to put up ...long overdue pics of my trip!! ..hope ya like reading it! I will try to finish up best I can! =)

My first A380 flight! So exciting! I was to depart on the early morning 1am flight on 6 June, Sunday. But before I even boarded the plane, much drama happened the few days before.

For a start, I fell sick. Very sick. It's been along time since I had such a bout of flu and loss of voice. So much so that when I was got home from work in the last few days, I could only bring myself to eat meds and hope to sleep it off. But it didn't work.

On friday night, I was supposed to pack. My final day (Since i'm technically leaving saturday night). However, I could barely breathe right and just wanted to rest. So i pumped myself with meds, prayed and zonked.

I awoke early at 7 am, and moved non-stop for the rest of the day. Boss called me sometime in the morning to make sure I was in good health to travel. I was feeling better and hoped the projected chiong day would not keeel me!
> 7 to 11am, pull out and decide on clothes + take stock of what I need to buy.
> 11am to 1pm, head to parkway to pick up items.
>1 to 2pm, eat lunch.
>2pm to 4pm, go back office and print out necessary
>5pm to 8pm. Pack.
>8 to 10pm. Can't really remember but it's mostly online stuff to make sure I got $$$ on hand. Double checks. Buy travel insurance.
>10pm -- Ge starts msning "why you still online?!"..lol...I leave with sis to drop off car at office. Then I came home showered and she drove me to the airport.

Thank God i did early check in, so I was quite set. When I reached the lounge to await boarding. I was pooped. What a long day. It had been so rushed, I even forgot to tell my cgl I was going overseas! hahaha...
I chose an upper deck seat which was cool! Because you're on economy but you get to board via the first/ biz class gangway. Picked window seat for the reknowned extra space on the side (it's a storage space), as shown in the photo. Krisworld featured Alice in Wonderland -- but i didn't watch it at all.

I squeezed in about 4-5 movies shows throughout the flight. Lots to choose from and the console was easy to navigate. I spent most of the flight wondering what the knob on the top left was for. LOL. Yanked on it abit...and decided not to be too curious..it's a long flight you know!!!

I barely slept on the flight. The guy on my right took up quite abit of elbow room, plus with the gap between the wall and seat due to the extra storage, i couldn't do my "lean on the wall" to sleep.

I have to say that the seat was disappointingly ok. Nothing extra comfortable about it. Leg room felt alot less (compared to my 777 flight home). But with the upper deck, service was defintely faster and I felt taken care of as the staff were dedicated to your section. Barely had to wait for your turn to go to the loo. Oooo...and of course, the food and beverage selection was better on the A380.

A 13 hour non-stop from Singapore to Zurich. I wonder if this is the Swiss Alps eh? I love this pic. This is my second trip to Europe. 1st one covered Frankfurt and Paris. So I've never been to Zurich before too.

It was a 4 1/2 hour transit. I got lost initially trying to find my transit gate. It's best to know where it is first before planning to rest/ explore. (Learned this from past travel experiences, as gates can be really really far/ in another terminal. Just because the sign arrows you in the direction. It doens't mean it's a 15min walk away.)

I read the wrong info and did a whole circle. When in fact, my transit gate was very near my inital arrival area! I window shopped at the transit area. Pretty tempted to buy one of the nici products and the swatch watches. Was confused by the prices as they were in swissrfranc. But after some calculations, realised it wasn't any cheaper. I couldn't explore much for long becasue my backpack was really heavy with the laptop.

So I plonked myself down at the comfy transit area (above). There were electrical points near all the seats so you could tinker with your lappie if you had one but no internet, so no fun for me. I thank God for some wisdom to have stored some 'portable' food from the flight. Becasue the most of the makan cafes/ fast food, look like they took swiss franc only and not worth converting the euros.

Yes...I took a spoon too. Thank God. Helped me eat the cheese you know! LOL! (I returned it on my return flight lah!) I very happily munched away and read my JD robb book.. =) Then slept un-glam style----> one arm draped on the bag, mouth wide open and head tilted back - for about an hour.

These are pics I took enroute to my departure gate. The choc shop selling toblerone had these giat ones about one metre long lor! (bottom shelf!)

I also passed many smoking lounges 'sponsored' by Camel. Here was where you could take your puff and kill your lungs in the safety of fellow puffers. I was quite intrigued with it's blatant - Camel Smoking Lounge name, and equally amused by the next line that read "Tobacco Seriously Damages Health." -- seriously?!?...

The plane from Zurich to Berlin was a Lufthansa flight. Much smaller A320. Took ages to take off. It seemed to be flexing it's wings and flaps. So i got a shot too...First time I've seen it risen so high on the ground. Engine was real noisy during the tests.

On board, this was a snack only flight. So don't expect the hot towel service like SQ. What I adored the most was that in the spirit of the upcoming World Cup, they gave out these cute cute cute soccer balls, which were really a soild ball of milk chocolate inside! Yums....I took more for ge actually, to support her beanut...Bwahahaha....(inside joke, sorry.)

The plane I was on was really small, if I thought I had a hard time fitting into the seat, the two americans on my left were worse off due to their gangly legs. They had this american on holiday look about them, and both wore berms! How comfy... =) Definitely on holiday.

Reaching Berlin, once again you are reminded of good ol' home airport's efficiency. It took a very long time for them to open the doors. So everyone (except me of course..hehe..) all stood up cramped at the isle in half bend postures ready to go.

Proof of how long it took was that they had started and finished loading up our luggage onto the truck. I'm quite increduled that they really use manual labour of just two men to carry ALL the luggage lor! I could see it from my window and was excited when I spotted my luggage!!! heeee...

See the red bag is mine + the black tube holder on the top with the fragiel sticker too! heee...what are the chances that it was right under my nose!
Here we are!!! Berlin Tegal Airport! Airport code: TXL! The main international airport of the capital of the Wursts! =)

Above pic is the main area with F&B, a supermarket and some shopping. This is where you get to the exit towards the trains and bus terminals.

Tegal is laid out such that a few pentagons buidlings cluster together( with the middle of the cluster the main area). Inside the pentagon are just check in rows and arrival/ departure gates with car rental booths. When you exit the departure gate, you can immediately board a cab. But I did not and walked all around the terminals just to find this mian area becasue it was the ONLY PLACE THAT HAD AN INFO COUNTER, with a free map of the city...chuh...
I finally decided to give myself a treat before trekking any further. hehehehe...Starbucks! Caramel Macchiato!! It was hard to get to the cafe. It was on level two. 3 flights of stairs with no lift --- how to haul luggage?!?...but for the sake of the cuppa I did! 3 up then 3 down...Knee pain..=(

On da cab to Schonefeld Airport where the Berlin Airshow is. All the way to the other side of berlin from west to east. Took a pic of the cab rates! S$8 when boarding ...faints!