from my last post

things have happened since my last post of course...Airshow and AeroCareer came and went...working me from 8am to 9pm daily. Sleeping at 1am and waking at 6am... Manual labour was high then. Literally lifting weights to and fro...moving from point to point. And having almost no food ...urgh... the back to back made me so tired..i concuss the moment i have a chance.

This year's airshow period is really the most tiring yet. Thank god for the car rental during airshow that solved many a problem.

with regard to my last post, things have kinda worked out via communication of course. Forced communication...haha..we were both tired..but i knew in my heart it can't be delayed. Anyway, it worked out well...and i was right...to stick to 'love'....this was just on monday nite...but already today....hmm...i dunno how to explain it....

I wonder if you have ever felt this way...when at that moment, u think you're ok...and that you are strong enough to go on...and then the next day...bits start coming back...and you wonder..maybe i'm not cut out for this...

hahaha...maybe i am confused...for a moment i think i love...then again ...maybe i'm selfish huh...the child side of me says...i dun wanna 'share'...then again..the rational side says...' dun be silly'...

I hoped so much that i don't have to go through this. But i recognised it had to be so sooner or later. =) dont' be mistaken...I'm glad it is sooner...=) a friend's happiness is at stake. =)

Still...a part of me...just fights and fights...

Many people can't understand how i feel...as much as i can share...to them it is likely to be..."dont' overthink it lah"...." why like that?"...."no need to be so drastic bah"..."actually i think you just let go lor..."....

frankly i think how i feel is a feeling that is really unique.

What brings me down and knocks crap in me is this awful tearing in me...confusion... and a very big battle. As though i'm fighting back emotion -- which is the most draining thing in the world if you have never experienced it.--hahaha....if you have lived...you definitely have experienced it!!!

Ok...enough for now on this matter...

I came to blog on how i felt abt my sis too...sigh...she really is declaring war. And i think with the cooling period is obviously not enough. I admit really that what triggered it is obviously my fault. And i have apologised....now she wants to cut off things one by one...yes..they belong to her...but it's a though you wanna make a point. First DVDs..now the sub-cards...

haiz...watever lah...do watever you want...when i say it this way, i'm not absolving myself from any wrong that i did...but i'm just wondering if it is all worth it???...build wall fun hah?

Whatever...