Waiting for my Chu Qian Yi Ding to cook...

I beat zzz monsters tonight. Though with questionable productivity. I believe I have only written a quarter of a page the last 2-3 hours. Thanks to Whiskey who's bugging Red again and whining all night. So i literally get out of my seat to shut him up every 4- 5mins.

Looking at the time frame, i can only afford a day or max two more to finish up this assignment. As it is, I just looked back at what I wrote 2 pages back and it's so disconnected lor...=(

Haiz...I need to shit out the content I'm pleased with then do the structuring at the end. Prayerfully, whatevefr content I'm hammering together will not need so much disconstructing, orbe useless in the final outcome.

That leaves me with less than 8 days for the other assignment that I've yet to even think a 'poof' of a thought bubble about. I decided distraction is not the way to go. So focus is better in order to get it out like a irritating pest.

My colleague declared today she is going to ask for an extention. As tempting as it is. I trust I will not. I cannot afford the time, nor do I want to endure this irkish feelign any longer.

20 Jan is the deadline.

raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrr...

okie...*sniff sniff*...da noodles smell cooked...

Time for some youtube + Chu Qian Yi Ding! hee...

Another assignment was given out today... =S

Chewing of nails....

..almost non-stop since 12mn, and well...for the earlier part of today.

It's like this when I'm trying to focus on work. I don't know if it's an anxiety thing or it helps me to think. I just suddenly catch myself biting again even though I distinctly remembering stopping only moements ago...hee....

It's now 3am, so I'm taking a break...

I'm on to my last assignment of my module (hopefully the last, but will take it as it is...)

But believe it or not, I haven't written a single word of the expected 2500 essay.

I had decided to give myself a break from the Grad Dip work till Christmas day. So it was only yesterday I got down to taking a good look at the question. It's not a hard one. It's straightforward but the more you think about it, you start to realise that there are several challenges.

It's the kind of question, pretty much like a GP paper, where, with one's opinion, experience and observation you are able to answer. So good and simple right?

However, it soon dawned on me that a solid paper would have to be one with wider reading and referencing to journals and articles. Not the self opined sputterings of a 31 year old.

Thank God a swift decision was made while sitting on the loo bowl at 1500h on sunday, that given the context of the question, there is no need to plunge into hardcopy boooks from the library as per my previous modules, and a focus on online materials should be sufficient.

For 4 hours yesterday evening, to free my mind from biasness, I filled my mind with random reading to anything or something that is close to the topic. That's the challenge of the internet information overload.

There's so much available, you need to spend time searching and reading through, even skip reading to help you determine if there's any info that could be useful, or worse, realising it's all completel trash...

Articles found need to be checked if there's proper references/ authorship and of course, the date for relevancy (i.e. I can't be referencing another's sputterings.)

A sense of dismay when diagrams are blocked/ omitted by the author, and having to consider the latest antics to 'download/ read the rest' by allowing full access to my facebook!!! (never will happen...)

Do not be deceived by blogs I learned the past 24 hours, as some are genuine postings/ articles.

I pooled what i could and noted some URLs, which I hoped are useful, and went to zzzz...

At noon today, I looked at the same URLs and went.."WTH..."

Hahahaha...really ah, sometimes you wonder why you were so drawn to it in the first place...

Anyway, in an hour, I had reached some sort of pain wall. Because I was stuck. Didn't know how to start and how to structure. I could go any way. *Damn*....it was also accelerated by the fact i had to apply some of my lecturer's personally created diagnostic models to my assignment. (brain all wony now...)

So i buried my head under a pillow and had horrid afternoon dreams of arguing about Gen X (hahaha...first hint of my topic!!!)

so yep, here I am, started back on my assignment since midnight. And still not a word.

Aiyooo...

I have to finish this by Friday, at least 99% of it. Submission on Tues. (no time in between)

I have scribbled some form of structure/ flow to the essay. However, I feel slightly paralysed. It's as though I'm not convinced it will work, or ther'es something irking me that's missing...and of course, where to start: " work on chunks that are not connected and hope you'll find a connector or figure out the connectors which means you need to find the chunks to fit them..."

=S ....faint!

It's now 330!

I can do more if I want, however, I think reading those articles again will only cloud my mind further.

so am going to bathe and watch soccer! heee...(of course will fall asleep sooner or later lah..=))

Restless restless!!!

It's hard to start my course again...Was supposed to start from last night to read a book to help for my presentation. And by today come up with a couple of slides.

I find myself getting so restless and backside itchy..LOL...keep getting up. It's not much to read and i'm familiar wiht the topic. but can't seem to get settled! Went to nap...boil water (goodness)...read up on gout...read up on soccer stats...check CNA...

I've forced myself to read the whole chapter and start typing out points from the chapter that I felt are good. But I find myself skimmign through and having to 'slap myself and force myself to re-read becasue i demanded quality reading in order to pick out out good points so that I do not have to refer to to book again.

3 of 5 chapters...it's 930pm.....Raaaarrrr....

Feeling tired...and sad...

..could just be the night..

Security guards for chickens....

Made a U turn at the Museum cluster and am actually trekking back towards the Alexander Platz station using a difference route so that I can see different things. Could only window shop and saw this nice colourful display...really pretty. Unless you're afraid of butterflies. These are fake of course. But so much care was made in the layout...

Quieter streets, lined with road side restaurants and shops. I liked this lamp post plastered with layers and layers of adverts, from professional ones to your regular off the photocopier machine type.

See the photo above, in the center, a thin dark vertical strip of building, with a yellow light on the ground level?

That's an old old theatre, still in use! It was the only oldest looking building along the entire stretch that kept it's old charm with no new coat of paint.

Though I didn't go in, this was the ground level. A 3meter arch tunnel covered with classical posters.
Didn't go further on past the tunnel...didn't feel too safe, because it's a back passageway. But very interesting, because it seemed like a local haunt to kick back and relax. On the left and right are the back of the restaurants/ cafes and still have customer tables!

Look at the layers of theatre posters...

Back to the road, I encountered 3 markers on the cobble stone floor, marking the place was home to Jews before they were taken away to camps. Suddenly I felt remorse and a quiet acknowledgement of gladness that the place kept it's historic look.

Big empty streets. Where are all the people?

One of my biggest impression walking the streets of Berlin is that the locals are scary. The youth travel in packs...like wolves. You'll never see less than a group of 8 walking together. Usually a mix of male and female. The frightenting thing is that walk in fast strides while chatting, almost like marching!!!... Not like the usual outing with friends in SG where you stroll.

I had a flash feeling of what it must be like in a riot.

So many cars..but not many people in sight...

Shops on the right are modern and built below the train tracks. =)

Local street signs.

I'm reaching my destination soon...This entire stretch has boring graffiti....getting dark! Hurry!

Ah ...here we are...let me introduce you to what Berlin uses as it's local icon. If you go to a souvenier shop, you will find either a bear (to represent the berlin bear), or their 'green' and 'red' man, which is used in all their traffic lights.

Yes, you see it? their green man wears a hat! (crossing the road and took this!)

Ack!!! why am I still on the road taking the pic!?!!! hehehe....

Here we are! the Station sign for the U-bahn.

Open plaza at the platz...

Finally it's 8.30pm. I settle down for my meal. Only had breakfast at the hotel that day. Save $$.

The only places left open were restaurants and they were all packed with no english menu. In addition, not cheap. So with nothing economical/ simple that was still open I decided to try their KFC.

Made me miss our local KFC. the place stank of oil and was run like some low-end eatery. Tables looked greasy and chairs had crumbs everywhere.

So i chose to sit outside and watch the 'traffic at the plaza' of trams going by. The table beside me was a mother with a young kid.

Another unsettling thing was that the KFC had a security guard. who stood around the door! Goodness..initially I thought he was just a passing cop..but realised he was hanging around as though securing the area. Please note that the KFC is about the size of...hmmmm....you know the starbucks in T2 airport? Yep...two times the size of that. And outside there are only 4 tables!

I guess I did feel safer having him around. He was polite since I was a customer. I figured, maybe it's because groups chose to plonk themselves at the tables/ some homeless people could give trouble as it was very near the subway access.

It was not fun eating there. Air was still, not cool, but not warm either. And just too damn quiet. My first meal in town..urgh...

Going back to the hotel. This is the transit station called 'Ostkreuz' that is under a revamp. It's easy to spot when you're arriving at this station because of this old tower on the left. My Boss, mel and me still do not know what it's for.

The station layout is complex, but I figured it out. hee...we have to use this route everytime we want to go to town.


Train arrival signboards. Just like in Frankfurt, one track has many train routes passing. so make sure you baord the right one. Only two routes go to Schonefeld airport. S9 is one of them and have to wait for a long time if you miss one (about 15mins)

You can bring bicycles into the train too.

It's a long 50min trip back to the hotel....so we take photos! hahaha...

Even at midnight back at the hotel, it looked like it was 7pm SG time.

For da record.... =)

Happy...

I the only one who got the High Distinction in the CBA module...I think coz it's my individual assignment me did ...and reviewed by ge. =) It was noted as the best of the lot.

A couple of us got HD for the jialat CMI lecturer module. I credit it to the studying...hahaha...coz I could add to more than what was subtley provided on the classroom walls.

two more modules to go...zzz...freedom ending soon again! Gak!

Alexander Platz...

is one of the main train stations on the Berlin map, so I did my quick exploration.

Here's the Berlin dome. Known to be the only dome like structure in the city. There are not many old buildings around, my guess is that they are all bombed during the war. See the modern but old buildings like the Sanyo one below. They are right next to the historical buidlings and look really functional and plain. Like a post war quick rebuilding project.

Fountain with King Neptune in the middle of the park.

Clock tower of a church!

The back of the church looks like a mini version of Notre Dame in Paris. (Berlin Dome on the left.)

The tower that reminds me of so many city towers, marks Alexander Platz. (restaurant on top!)

Wandered over to the Museum cluster. About 5 to 6 of them side by side. Sadly all were closed because it as already so late. Yes, I know, it's bright still, but it's already 8pm local time!!

I wanted to go visit the Greek Gods museum (can't remember the exact name) but it's supposed to be filled with statues of all of them with history included of course.

A nice tourist decided to help me make a pic down the outdoor hallways of the museum.

Above: one of the museum's undergoing upgrading

Boat timing was perfect!

Alongside the museum cluster is the River Spree which cuts through the heart of the city. See how I've wandered from the Platz tower?

Sunset...

Hackescher Markt - It's really a train station above! Yep, I have walked all the way the another station! This area is in the middle of a city park with lots of bistros lining up the sidewalks. A nice place to sit back and feast with friends. =)

bye bye J.J....

"I'm thankful for my chance to have this family, everything we've shared, every chance we've had to grow.

I'll take the best of them with me and lead by thier example wherever I go...

This isn't what i want but I'll take the high road

Maybe it's because I look at everything as a lesson

or it's because I don't want to walk around angry

or maybe it's becasue I finally understand

There are things we don't want to happen, but have to accept.

Things that we don't want to know, but have to learn.

And people we can't live without, but haeveto let go."

~ Jennifer Jarreau (aka. J.J.) goodbye message in her last appearance on Criminal Minds, season 6 episode 2.

My study marathons...

Tues exam was pretty good. Am sure can clear, unless the so called draft answers are completely wrong!

After my last rant on monday night. For my tues exam i have to study 4 question which will ensure that i can answer 3 in the exam. Thank God I spend Saturday night going back to the office at 7pm. Sat there will 1030pm and made sure that I re-wrote out 1 of the 4 questions that i was going to study. (this reduce the time needed for memo work, since got some analysis done)

All draft answers are in an essay format. So What I did was i took part of the draft answer and did my own combo and layout of inputs. So that it also help me remem and ans in a logical manner. =) took me 3 hours lor...

But it was the first qn i studied on monday night.

After tat it was about 2am liao. I tried moving on to another question, but found it hard, coz the draft answer abit...hmmm...not so easy to comprehend. So I did the same thing, only didn't add in my own content (no time) but broke it down into point forms and sections. By then...3+ almost 4....cannot laio...no time to memo..so went to sleep.

At work, spent the whoel morning at ONE meeting..haiz...

Generally feeling was dunno if it's pre-period or butterflies in stomach...jsut no appetite lor, so just ate crackers during meeting and planned to skip lunchie.

I was quite happy to skip lunch lah...peace and quiet. I did the fresh print outs of my revised draft answer to questions and went to level seven to study...it was quite funny. I think the people on that level wondering what i was doing. coz i was jsut pacing up and down memorising...plus it was lunch time somemore, so they went toilet ah, wash cup...etc etc.

So during lunch till about 145pm, i managed to cover 2 more questions. Making it a total of 3.

needed one more...exam was at 7pm...so had to bank on tea break or smthing to study lor...

my colleague also stayed back during lunch, we didnt talk lah, or discuss what questions we were goign to study..jsut as well, less influnce and pressure..hahaha

Boss quite nice lah...he only found out from the rest at lunch that me having exam today..he actuallly came my room after lunch to 'gu li' in his usual suan ways. =) I told him i more concern cannot write with hand liao! now so used to typing. Even makie study notes also type!!! I showed him a para I had jsut tried to write and it was terrible! LOL!

At 4pm, me went around taking Ya-Kun orders, it was time to eat, must force. I know sure no mood for dinner, and it's a good excuse for me to walk down with my notes and memo the last question. This last question , the answer 1/4 was very theory, stating steps and the 3/4 remiander is applicaiton of a step with any example. It would be too strange to use the draft example coz how can it be so 'qiao'...so I came up with a 'figurative' scenario and hoped that during exam, I can wing it and apply the Steps to the example lor...no time, no time...

HAHAHAHA

so outside the school, I was calm lah..Thank God. I told myself, no more memorising..just keep reading. So i just read and read...the 4 questions.

At the exam I picked the first 3 i studied =). (the 4th one was tweaked differently lor! So better be safe.)

Thank God for good time management and that earlier on, I had made a plan to leave those 'write endlessly to evaluate' kind of question for last. This was so that whatever time i had left...even though I technically finised the paper, i can jsut continue writing on and on since each para is one 'compare and discuss point', then 2 minutes from time, jsut round up. =)

So yeah! It all went well...

Even on Tues late night..i still doing work...this is called "the brain refuse to stop." Had a dead sleep last night. =)

Now my Thurs exam...hmm...here i am , 4am on a wed late nite. Tomorrow on leave lah...

Zzz nap then woke at 1130pm. And hoenstly just started studying lor! hahaha...

But I again thank god that on sunday for a whole day, I forced myself to churn out point form notes (in my own words, best i can), it was my only day I could give my Thur exam, coz no way i'm touching it on monday night mah...so me summarised about 100 pages of notes into 15 pages. It even reach a point I wanna puke bit liao..hahaha...seeing the 100page notes jsut made me wanna puke...pls note::: it's the only the second time i'm reading the notes ! So had to force myself to chop chop and make sense of that hopeless lecturers notes..hahaha

I thank God again, coz at this late hour, i only need to study those 15 pages. They are not model answers nor did this lecturer give helpful tips. However, I made sure these notes answered/ address the objectives/ questions posed at the end of each lesson --- so hopefully its the right thgs to learn. =)

So...hmmm...half an hour ago..me sorta memorised 9 out of 15 pages...should be ok la hor...tomorrow can do the rest.

Last page was a struggle. So knew time to stop.

Hahaha...I felt as though in school again. While showering I was talking to myself to cover all the 9 pages, test and see if anything left out. =)

Okies...this was a great break....rant rant rant....

Boss and ge da sweetest lah...sms to enc me =) these past few days. Like tonight lor, out of the blue boss say all the best for tom paper..hahaha

It's really quite hard jsut to focus on studying...thoughts of work creep in. Must be harder for those with kids man...more distractions! pei foo pei foo...

Okies..time to wind down...nitey nites!