Sad to hear...

As I sit here doing some blog updates on the news of our events, I get an sms that Ge's granny just passed away...='(

='(

='(

I dunno the lady, nor have I met her before...but I do feel for her. I guess it does make a diff when you pray for someone, even if you dunno him/ her

It's really been tough for my dear friend...also the fact that it's such a peak time at work for ge..and she has to have this on her plate toos for the past 3 weeks...

never easy to see her so sad...and its frustrating when you can't do anythg...haiz...

God I pray....for hearts to be comforted...your presence to be near every one of them...especially ge's mum...auntie who took care of me so well in Melbourne...I pray for strength...the kind that only You can give...

Am up...

watching footie. It's late lah..i know, but thank god for some British Summer Time thing, the match is anhour earlier than normal. It's the Champion's league final. So much possible history can be made if we win. =)

But now we're 1-0 down..haiz...

Anyway, even though the Opening Ceremony is over for ASX, I guess the saying goes that it ain't over till it's all over...2 more whole days guys!

It's been a tough few days for ge, one of the hardest so far was today. Am still praying! Me haven't forgotten...

It's going to be another early day tomorrow. Got stuff to do...I pray I'll be productive and finish it fast and clean. =)

HAIZ>...68 min and Barcelona has made it 2-0...most would turn off their TV sets. But not for this one...ManU fights till the end one..hahaha...we have won 2-1 when down 1-0 in the 90th minute ok!!

Hahaha...anyway, had a funny convo with ge on msn just now...she was telling me to sleep early lor...coz i'mstill doing late nights and up earlys...bad for me lah...

ge says:
plsssssssssssssss go and sleep k

ge says:
stop sleeping so few hours leh

ge says:
it's really v bad

Jean- says:
no ah..me got schleep just now ah

ge says:
and u shld know it and fix it

ge says:
excuse me

ge says:
and that is somehow good

ge says:
WHY!?

ge says:
u sleep when u sldn't be

ge says:
and awake when u shld be sleeping

Jean- says:
HAHAHAHA...i like the way u say...'excuse me'

Jean- says:
*pouts innocently*

Jean- says:
but...me got footie match tonite

Jean- says:
=(

ge says:
haiz

ge says:
give up la

ge says:
i go sleep liao

Jean- says:
heh....sniffs...dun say that lah

Jean- says:
='(

Jean- says:
i will try k...if am schleepy i pwomise me go zzz...

Jean- says:
wun force myself..


Yeah...I knows... it's never good...You all dun learn from me k!!!!

Okies...time to go give my team the best! they need my support in this horrible moment...goodness...byes!

It's really nice...

..that in the middle of ...hmmm...better expressed as !?!?!?! weeks...last thing I expected was to get a pressie today, which just wanted to make me hug da person and I had to ever refrain myself simply coz she was driving and I valued both our lives..haha...

When asked why suddenly buy present for me...I got a sharp reply - close to more like a shriek - that I can buy gifts out of the blue but she can't ah!?!?!...kekeke...that pinned me to one corner of the car..hahaha..where was the emergency exit!?..=P

Anyways....recollecting...

Most of you would have seen me wear my cross necklace that took me about 3 years to find one that I liked. Heh. I'm picky lah...It's the mixture of simplicity, price, uniqueness and wearability and of course, that will not tarnish or make me break out in rashes (God checked on the 'extremely sensitive skin' box when he made me lor.) ..that made it a quest to find...it was not easy, but in a way, it called out to me when i made a book payment at the Kallang Attributes and saw it on the counter... (back then lah)..and i just couldn't get it off my mind for like..a week or two...LOL..best thing was it was long enough and fit me well. Thick neck k...standard off the shelf lengths dun fit me lor...

Well, it's been with me for almost..OMG...4 years! WAH! But recently it started falling apart literally! The cross broke while I was wearing it 2 to 3 times on diff episodes...hahaha...the chain was dying with wear and tear too...*shakes head*

Thank god each time it happened, I knew of it and also it waited till I touched down in SG after my trip to melbourne to really give trouble. i would've been really sad if I lost it. =)

I can't believe I'm saying it, but I did miss having my cross to wear the past two months..it was just odd not to have it, i guess in the worst of times it does remind you of who you are in Him.

Anyway, I got cracking on fixing it on Saturday. I just couldn't bear to go through the coming week without it. Compromising on the glue again (still can't find the right one)..i stuck the pieces together and after making a stop-over to Bras basah, I made a beeline to raffles city, which i knew i could get a chain I wouldn't start itching all over ...hahaha...

I stood outside Thomas Sabo for a good full minute. But shook my head and didn't bother to go in. I had scrutinised their chains before and knew the colour of their silver was just way too bright to fit.

So I went straight to B1 and into this shop I had noted before. I think the salesperson at the shop must've been delighted. Easiest sale of the day. It was one of those - I know cfm she's gg to buy it kinda sale. I was to the point, I saw, I matched, I tried...and I OK lah, let's goooooo -- carpark charges are ticking! No kidding!!! =)

It fit ok lah...but the colour was bit off, not really matching the cross lah...but it was close enough. =) I went home thinking if i'd regret just grabbing and going...given my afterthoughts..

Who would've thought, my pressie today was a new cross! =)

And as though God decided to have some fun, the cross colour fits my new chain better lor...and believe it or not, the gift giver thought I didnt' have chain issues so didn't get one to go with it...ahahah...just as well neh...God orchestrated and made sure we didn't overspend.

God is good lah, if he didn't boot me to chop-chop buy a chain this weekend of this colour somemore, me wouldn't be able to wear da new one lors...heh...=) He's the coolest lah.

And considering all my picky-ness -- I really like when I saw it neh...hee...in addition, it's unique and suits me!... =D...heee...am touched lah ...for many reasons lor.. *big smile*

For one, the person so 'pok' already still spend on me! ...*sniffs*...=)

Amazed that

I'm still awake neh...haha..considering it's been a long week. =) But ok lah, just move...and share joys over the small victories.

I guess it's coz it's friday night so i'm this way. Have more energy to stay up and enjoy that the weekend is here. Left work late today. Stayed half an hour later than needed, just to give one of my colleagues a ride home. But I had nice makan of prata for late dinner...hee..I'm a sucker for prata..haiz..=)

Okies, i'm off to enjoy the rest of my night. =)

Is stability too much to ask for?

Didn't work as late as yesterday. But it's another mad rush day. Though i ended around 7-8pm, I went out for dinner really stoned. It's been a long time since I've really dragged myself around like that and let myself go. Even eating required effort. Hah.

I don't think I can chiong bit more for today. Boss told me something that just made me...argh...at about 5.30pm. Sigh...when u take 3 steps forward, you get tossed 2 steps backward as if not frustrating enough, you're left to plot out a new route.

What more can I do today? except to share an I'm sorry to my team that in as much as we stood our ground and clarified on some matters, we now have to go mess things up again. Yup, though it did not happen to me directly, you feel as though the things you worked towards are just swept away..with a logical but stupid, and where the heck are we gg to find the time.

But i'm too detached to write the e-mail, and I guess telling them tomorrow will be better.

I gave boss attitude again today when he doesn't listen to reason. I feel bad of course, but there no time to feel bad....So i just called up the person and in a way just begged the person to please just close the matter. What more do you want?

Boss oso brought up 'last burst' with a laugh after telling me the news. I didn't find it funny. I wanted to tell retort that he must be kidding. But i held my tongue but my face turned black. You may think it's a good thing...but over here, last burst does not mean last burst of energy or final lap...its about being toyed to a point where it all plain mocks and laughs at you.

Another phone call earlier today ...sigh, you really reach a point where you'd almost say anything just to cater to the person. And then another 2 steps back.

Somany more things, but what's the point?

I though i could regulate what I had left till the end. But I don't think i can.

OK, just gg to sleep. Enough for today.

I have...

...Nothing to say....but lots to stone about...no energy to say....too much to say...does it even need to be said?

Last night I dreamt someone was trying to harm/ kill me...day before, I was struggling with something in my sleep toos...it's crazy how our subconsciousness battles even in our rest.

Done what I can tonight. Tomorrow is another day.

Time to bring in my dog...talk to her...and tuck her into her sleep corner, my quality time with her has cut down to 3 mins a day. She's such a good dog for being patient...

Thursday...

I was slightly edgy this afternoon.

After the meeting in the evening, stuff happened that sucked.

Boss took sometime to talk to me in my office before going...more likely I held him back longer....at least he listened. It was hard to hold back the tears as he taught about why certain things had to be the way they were. I knew it was not his fault and he's on our side. Yet, it doesn't make things any better.

Tear rate increased when I heard him say passion. And I asked him. How can you have passion without emotions attached. He understood, and was stuck for a millisecond. Obviously stunned that I caught the loophole so fast. (Haha.) Sigh. I know what he means. I know where's he's coming from...I know...they are the bosses..let the rap fall on them.

It was frustrating. Grrr...

He's in a worse position than me lah...and he said he cared about us. Haiz..

After awhile he started looking away coz I think he wanted to cry too..haha..=)

I was standing in my room..and my two staff probably saw me crying...

Maybe they thinking I getting a scolding..ahahha...oh well..

It's over...

I went out for a late walk to drop cheques and pick up a late dinner. Nice walk. The quietness of my neighbourhood with the occassional car passing helped me enjoy the walk. =)

I told ge I'll sleep earlier today. so I'm off to shower and sleep...nites....

What's this man...

Tomorrow will be an exciting day! You can come scrape me off the office floor some time around 6pm. hahaha...

I just got off the phone with the account manager for one of our publications. Called her several times since late as i spotted mistakes here and there. To think this is just 5 miserable sheets of paper lor...what about the rest??!!? the printeris horleeble lahz...haiz...

She's also obviously not asleep too. She has informed me she don't be sleeping till probably saturday/ sunday? Bo pian lah...

Time for bed...pray tomorrow will work out well..one day at a time eh God? =) Too tired to think liao, but thank you for watching over and helping us. =)

Sigh, If I wanna do the perm thing..it's going to cost so much. More than double my doggie's operation. Unless I wanna revert back to the cheaper option bah.

Frankly I dont' really like the interim contingency thing, feels odd and just weirder than what i'm used to...it was overdone lah, wrong colour toos..it's not supposed to last long. A week to a few months. =(

I looked at Red again today and just know she's gotta come first. She's still compensating in her walk and I can see her straining on her good front leg on some days after she has got up from sitting several times.

Sigh...I think i'll have no choice but to go for the cheaper option. Go on with Red's op coz that one has no alternative. I'll just waste the $ in the interim on the cheaper option, crappy but no choice...and then maybe in a couple of years after some savings i can go for the perm thingy.

Work just wants to make you cry everyday now. Just too much. It really sucks that things have to be this way. Been feeling empty way too long...what is there left? And now, I can't even enjoy food..what the -

Sh-@&^*##*(!_)!@)(@*(#)(**&(#$*)(

P.U.K.E

Haiz...of all the things that happened today it must happen of all the periods! To make matters worse, this is a time wit many meeting scheduled. Ah well, no point moping. But it's a frustrating yet, personally quite amusing thing to happen. It's kinda like one of those things you're scared/ dream would happen in all these years...and guess what? It does!!!! Hahaha...I can only laugh at the situation really...*hides face*

Thank God for a solution and I just pray that tomorrow morning it will all be settled and good. =)

Now some people in my office know tooos...eeeps...hahaha..even boss had a laugh lors..=)

Okies, so I'm up again. I tried but couldn't sleep and I was in a mood for work (catch the wave man), because things are not moving as fast as I'd hope them to be. Haiz...doesn't help that at work, I feel quite stuck and not as productive as I hope to be. It's almost as if every thing has a problem and it's all interconnected in some bizarre manner...=(

Sigh...just pray that the other upcoming events will confirm things fast too and prep for audit. This round of audit is going to be a screwed round. Just when I thought last year was bad...I foretell my nightmare this year will be one that will haunt me in my most horendous ways (my stomach suddnely churned. It agrees!)

Oh heck. No point fretting about that. There's enough to keep you occupied with ASX and SAA, the two biggie events you've heard me rant about in my comings and goings.

Stupid work.

I had bout of food poisoning earlier today. Thank God even though I had the same lunch as Ge, she got full and didn't touch the dumpling soup, which I suspect is the culprit. For once, I'm glad the girl didn't finish her food. =)

Got home and crashed, because my tummy felt as though it was spinning. I even threw up again after I had water! In total I know I hawked at least 6 times. Went to sleep and had a horrible dream about doing an e-mail whereby I needed to address things item by item...and somehow, not matter how much I type, this item kinda seems stuck there...LOL

madness...

That's when I woke, coz I realised how stupid it all was and that it was DEFINITELY a dream, and if I'm going to waste good thinking cells on such a dream, I'd rather wake up and use it on the REAL thing...haha..don't you agree?

OK, finally tired. Need to sleep. Bye!